New Dawn
by artisus
Summary: My rendition of what happens in "Breaking Dawn." It follows in the style as near as I'm able of Stephenie Meyer. Written w/o reference to "Breaking Dawn" chapter 1. Please read and review! :-D
1. Chapter 1: Kismet

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

Kismet

I'd never been so close to dying. Both of impatience and in the literal sense. One week. That's all I had left as a human. It was thrilling. . . and intimidating. I sat on the rim of the tub and stared at the sparkling object on my left hand. It glistened happily above my charm bracelet. A strange juxtaposition of an unending love- literally- and a lost love.

A knock at the door brought me to my senses. "Mmhmm?" I asked, standing up hurriedly and turning the running faucet off.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Charlie's voice asked.

"Yes, Dad. I'll be right out."

He mumbled something that sounded like "finally" but said more loudly, "Take your time."

I heard his footsteps go downstairs and sighed. I pulled my clothes on and opened the door, walking to my room with a slight sense of dread. Today I was picking Renée and Phil up from the airport. I was dreading the face-to-face meeting, but Edward had remained annoyingly upbeat.

He was lounging on my bed, as always, when I entered. His beauty was overwhelming and made me sigh. I couldn't wait to level the playing field. Maybe, I told myself, in a week from now I'll be worthy enough to stand next to him.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards and he was suddenly off the bed and holding me in his arms. He inhaled my scent as he kissed my forehead, my cheeks, and my neck, saving my lips for last. The moment his lips touched mine all my worries disappeared. I was grateful that he could do that to me, I didn't really want to think about the next few hours.

"Are you ready yet, Bells?" Charlie's voice called up and Edward flashed his teeth at me with a grin. He kissed me quickly and was gone from the room moments before I heard Charlie stomping upstairs.

"I'll be right there!" I called to him and grabbed my purse from where it lay next to my ancient and decrepit computer. I took a deep breath, and grinned when I heard a knock at the front door.

"I'll get it!" I yelled and ran past him as he headed to the bathroom. I had the feeling that he was shaking his head as I flew downstairs and opened the front door.

After another breathtaking kiss, for me at least, Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and we waited for Charlie.

"It's going to be fine," Edward whispered in my ear as he kissed the top of my head. "And you look absolutely beautiful."

I blushed. I was wearing a blue shirt which Alice had given me, knowing full well it was his favorite color on me. He continued to kiss my hair, my cheeks, and my neck until Charlie was one step away from seeing us. Then, leaving his hand around me, he looked up and grinned.

"Good morning, Charlie," he said, as the perfect gentleman he was.

"'Morning, Edward," Charlie muttered. As happy as he tried to be for me, Charlie was having a hard time trying to find my fiancé acceptable.

"Can we just get this over with?" I begged, my stomach fluttering.

Charlie was frowning at me. "Well, Bells, here's the thing." He coughed uncomfortably. "I, uh, I was thinking maybe it'd be better if just you and. . . Edward, met your mother. There's still plenty of cleaning to be done."

That was a lie, I'd cleaned like a woman possessed the entire day before, but I'd had a feeling that Charlie was dreading facing Renée. He seemed to be dreading it as much as I was. I nodded my head.

"OK, Dad, that's fine." I said and turned to leave. "We'll be back. . . soon, I suppose."

"Uh, yeah. Good luck, Bella," Charlie said and walked to the front door as Edward led me into the mist that was perpetually part of Forks.

At least I wouldn't have to pick my mother up in the cruiser, I comforted myself. I had secretly been dreading that. What with me, Edward, and my mother probably packed in the back behind the screen and Phil and Charlie up front.

"See?" Edward smiled at me as he closed my door and walked at a human pace to the driver's side. The Volvo was a far more acceptable form of transportation. "I told you everything would be fine."

I watched Charlie turn back inside, his shoulders stiff, and Edward took one of my hands in his cold one.

"You knew he wouldn't come? Why didn't you tell me?"

"He'd been worrying about it all night," Edward said. "Worrying about the actual event and about trying to tell you he didn't want to go. He's absolutely terrified of meeting Phil."

Ah, yes. It made sense. Here I'd been thinking it was Renée he feared, but it was her husband he feared more. The person who had been able to, at least for a few years, keep her with him. Where Charlie had failed, Phil had succeeded. I wondered how they were going to like one another. I sighed in despair.

"Bella?" Edward looked at me with his gold eyes, so full of love, and melted my heart all over again.

"Telling her over the phone was one thing," I cringed as I remembered. "But seeing her face to face makes me nervous."

"You shouldn't be. She wants to see you happy. She'll accept it eventually."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "As in, you don't think she's accepted it yet?"

He sighed. "Let's just say, the mother-daughter time you'll be spending may be directed entirely towards Renée's efforts to convince you to cancel."

"Never." I said automatically. I was ready. Ready to say goodbye to my family, ready to marry Edward, and ready to be with him forever in the form of a vampire. Nothing anyone could say would stop me. Regardless, my throat felt dry with anxiety.

The trees whizzed by. The air conditioning, on the lowest setting since summer in Washington was never very _hot_, just _humid_, blew my hair behind my shoulders. Edward's hand never left mine, one finger of his touching the ring on my finger. The drive, normally an hour's length, was over in less than thirty minutes. Renée's plane wasn't due to land for another thirty minutes, so I was only partially surprised when Edward parallel parked downtown. I looked up to see where I would be anxiously awaiting my doom and smiled. Edward was opening the door beside me, a grin on his face.

"I thought you might be hungry," he said and entwined his hand in mine as we walked into the Italian restaurant. It was the same restaurant he had taken me to, well dragged me to really, two years ago. The night I found out for sure what he was.

"Well, I'm not really," I said but my stomach growled at me. Edward chuckled. "No, really," I tried to protest. "It's just nerves."

It wasn't, though. I'd stayed as long in bed as possible, completely skipping breakfast. Charlie wasn't one for waking me up and I wasn't keen on leaving the sanctuary of Edward's arms around me as I lay in bed. So, in truth, I was famished. I wondered, though, if I would be able to keep any food down.

Kismet proved to be a funny thing. I recognized the hostess who seated us immediately. The same gorgeous one who had seated us last time. She was batting her eyelashes at Edward without success, much as she had last time, but he was still smiling at me. As we sat down I noticed her glance at my ring and thought that she had sighed silently. I hoped she had. He was _mine_ and I wanted her to know it.

"Your server will be right with you," she said and disappeared into the kitchen. I knew she was going to spread the word as soon as she got inside and wondered if fate would assign us the same waitress as before. Luck was on my side, the waitress was a different one, though her eyes were as fascinated with

Edward as the other had been.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked softly after ordering two Cokes.

I sighed and met his eyes. So much beauty, so much I wanted. I _needed_. I couldn't exist without him. I was wondering if Renée would really understand.

"I know that Renée wants me to be happy, and when I spoke to her yesterday she seemed. . . content enough, but is that what she really thinks?" After all, she was my mother. The mother who raised me to believe that marriage before thirty was unhealthy, insane even. And here I was, an eighteen-year-old high school graduate.

"We can wait, you know," his voice was so soft I couldn't help but frown at it.

"I don't _want_ to wait," I argued as the waitress returned. She asked for our order, looking specifically at Edward. I tried to hide my smirk, but I failed. I was glad to see that everyone wanted him and all he wanted was me. As I opened my mouth to order, Edward beat me. I sat back, stunned. He'd never ordered food before. He ordered the same ravioli that I'd had the last time. As I stared at him the corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile.

"Nice memory," I muttered.

"Especially when it's a memory of you," he said and played with my hands over the table. Suddenly he was frowning again. "I won't argue with you. I am too selfish and love you too much to start arguing about waiting again, but I don't understand what it is you fear about facing your mother."

I snorted, I couldn't help myself. He had met my mother, he knew her to be charming and observant. I didn't think that he knew the side of her that could really get angry.

"I'm expecting the worse," I explained. "That maybe she didn't get on the plane, maybe she's decided not to come. Maybe she's disowned me. She loves me, I know that, but I don't think she loves you enough to let me go without a fight."

"Is that what this is about? You think she doesn't want to give you up?" His right hand played with the ring on my finger again.

"Well, it _is_ the last time I'll see her in a while- maybe years! It's definitely the last time she'll see _me_, as I am. The human me." I took a deep breath. "I just wonder how she'll take it. She probably doesn't realize that this is the last time. Or maybe she does. Maybe she's preparing for the worst too."

"You're being silly, Bella," Edward said gently.

"Silly? I'm not so sure any more." The waitress came with the ravioli and I picked at it with a fork, no longer hungry enough to eat it.

"This will not be the last time you see her, Bella. I promise. You will see them all, Renée, Charlie, everyone you want. You shouldn't doubt their love for you." He stole the fork from my hand and stabbed a piece of pasta. He held the fork up, towards my mouth. "You really should eat, Bella."

I sighed and accepted the pasta, claiming the fork back as I chewed. He watched me with smoldering gold eyes. About half way through the dish I felt I'd had enough. I sighed and leaned back. Edward grinned.

"Dear Bella," he said. He stood and held out his hand to me. "Let's face the demons you fear so much, shall we?" Leaving a bill on the table, clearly not wanting change, he led me out into the late afternoon light. I was now only moments away from my nightmare.

NB: This is my first fan fiction- I've only written original pieces before, so I'd appreciate any comments and feedback you have. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: A Dream Come True

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

A Dream Come True

I owed Edward big time. He kept Phil chattering away about baseball the entire trip back to Forks. His eyes would flicker to mine, sometimes locking my gaze who whole minutes. I hoped that Renée didn't notice that he wasn't watching the road, and I knew that Phil wouldn't notice as his mouth never stopped moving as he watched the darkening scenery.

"Bella," my mother whispered to me, her hand touching my leg to get my attention. She was leaning towards me, obviously not wanting Edward to hear. Of course, though, he would hear everything. Everything she was thinking as well as everything she said.

"Bella, I know you're going to be happy." Her voice was quiet and her eyes dipped down to the seat between us.

"But?" I whispered back.

She had smiled lovingly in the airport, embracing me, and then embracing Edward. Her smile hadn't quite reached her eyes though, and as I bantered with her about wedding arrangements I was wondering when she would finally speak her mind.

"But, are you _sure?_ Absolutely positive, that this is what you want?" She sighed. "I know you love him, I can see that, and it's the strangest form of love I've ever seen, but aren't you worried it won't last?"

My mind flickered back a few months when I had last visited her in Jacksonville. She had been worried about me and Edward and how serious we were. As serious as she thought we'd been then, when I'd told her over the phone about Edward's proposal, she had clearly not been expecting that we were _that_ serious. Her eyes had flickered back and forth between me and Edward while we waited to pick up the luggage, as though trying to find any shred of hope that this was a joke.

"Mom," I said in as kind a tone as I could manage. "I'm _absolutely_ sure."

"But what about college? How is that going to work out? You're both going to Dartmouth, alright, but how will life be then? A lot can change. I don't want you to get hurt." Her forehead creased over her troubled eyes.

"I know you think we're too young, Mom, but I'm sure you've noticed this is more than the average high school sweetheart situation," I wouldn't doubt that she had noticed. "I'm sure you've noticed that I'm as crazy about Edward as you are about Phil."

She smiled sheepishly and nodded her head, sitting upright again. "Yes, I suppose so. Just be careful, Bella. I've been here before and I don't want you repeating my mistakes."

I patted her hand. "Everything is going to be fine, Mom."

Her face brightened slightly and she took a deep breath. "Now let me see that ring again," she said in a normal voice and Edward's head turned slightly as though he'd only just heard her.

"You must have spent a fortune on that rock!" Phil said, admiring my outstretched hand from the front seat.

"Not at all, sadly. Bella wouldn't have wanted me to," Edward replied. "The best I could offer is my mother's ring."

"Oh! How sweet!" Renée cooed, her eyes were still worried, though as she looked at the opal and diamond antique. She gave me a bold smile and began to interrogate me about the wedding arrangements. Did I have everything? The flowers, the cake? A band? I grinned as I explained Alice's favorite pastime.

"You're very lucky to have such a maid of honor," Renée told me as though I hadn't already known. As the conversation continued my eyes drifted to the rear view mirror where golden eyes were twinkling at me. I couldn't help it, I grinned. He was enjoying every minute.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to go to the Lodge to eat?" Edward asked them as we helped lug their two extremely heavy suitcases into the inn room where they'd be staying. He already knew the answer, I could tell because he was shifting his weight slightly to leave.

Renée visibly cringed and opened her mouth before Phil could agree. "Thank you, darling, but we're exhausted, aren't we, Phil?" She gave him a pointed look. "You two run along and enjoy yourselves."

"Are you sure, Mom?" I asked, concerned. She was not going to enjoy a single minute being in this town again. She gave me a motherly look and I laughed, she'd never really mastered the face. "OK, OK, I get the idea. I'll come pick you in the morning. Have a good night!"

I struggled to throw in my farewell as Edward was pulling me towards the door, closing it as we went. The door shut and I sighed, my shoulders sagging. Edward pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead.

"You're the bravest person I know," he said and led me by the hand downstairs and into the cool evening.

"What does she really think?" I asked quietly once we were outside, just in case she could hear from her window. Catching me off guard, Edward back me up against the silver car and kissed me passionately.

Gasping for air when he finally moved past my lips to my mouth, he whispered to me, "She's watching now, evaluating us."

I laughed and put my hands against his chest, giving him the slightest push. He smiled and somewhat unwillingly parted from me to hold open my door and then get in his side. I glanced up to the window on the second floor which was my mother's. The curtain was swaying slightly.

"But what does she really think?" I asked as Edward wrapped his hand around mine.

"She was wondering if you were lying about being pregnant." I blushed furiously, my eyes popping painfully with shame. Edward laughed at my embarrassment but his chuckle betrayed his slight discomfort as well. "And she was trying to decide who would eventually leave who in the next few years."

I sighed angrily and Edward started the car. "I had _really_ hoped she'd trust me enough to know I wasn't lying." I muttered under my breath and Edward chuckled again.

"Alice wants to see you," he said, conveniently changing the conversation. "Do you mind?"

I gave him a grateful smile. "I never mind seeing your family."

"They're yours now, too." He flashed his teeth at me and squeezed my hand.

Once out of sight of the bed-and-breakfast, sadly the nicest accommodation in town, Edward sped down the highway towards the obscure turn off for his house.

All the lights were on, making the house look like it was made of light. Alice was on the porch, her arms crossed, as we walked up the steps to join her.

"I need to show you some designs," she said. Her tone was light and bouncy, as always, but her eyes were graver than usual. Edward nodded his head ever so slightly and I was automatically on alert.

"What is it?" I demanded, looking from one of them to another.

Alice's eyes had sparked again, her pixie-like beauty beaming off her smile. She grabbed my free hand and laughed.

"Nothing! Why is everything a conspiracy with you?" As Edward reluctantly released my hand Alice pulled me, somewhat painfully, up the stairs towards her room.

"It usually is," was all I could mutter before being dragged into the enormous en-suite. On the vanity there were pieces of paper with intricate swirls and designs on them.

"I was thinking curls," she said and held one of the papers up next to my head and narrowed her eyes. "Hmm. Maybe not." She pulled up another design and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What were you telling Edward?"

"I was just wondering if he liked the chair arrangement I'd had in mind."

"Alice?" I asked. "That's a lie. What's going on?"

She sighed and looked over my shoulder. Turning I saw that Edward was leaning against the door frame. He sighed and walked forward to wrap his arms around me, protectively.

"I like the half curls idea," he told Alice and she squealed excitedly.

"Oh good!" she said. "I didn't really know if it was worth the thought." Her hand was busy scrawling away on a piece of paper.

"Edward," I begged. "Please tell me."

"Renée has gone to see Charlie," he said. "It's nothing, really."

I groaned. Poor Charlie. "She's going to yell at him, isn't she?"

Edward was silent and I felt extremely guilty. "You didn't really need to see me, did you?" I looked at Alice who was avoiding me by sketching. "It's going to be a big fight, isn't it?"

They were quiet and my guilt swirled in the beginnings of a storm. A tear escaped my eyes. Edward quickly spun me around to wipe the tear away with a velveteen thumb and kiss me.

"Why can't they just be happy for me?" I tried to keep my voice even, but it cracked. Edward hugged me tighter and I willingly buried my head in his shirt and let the tears out. They were tears of stress and frustration.

"Shh," Edward comforted me and kissed my hair. He seemed to be holding me stiffly and when my sobs were more under control he hooked a finger under my chin to make me look him in the eyes.

"I love you, Bella," he said. "I won't let you face this alone. They do love you, you know."

Between sniffs I smiled and went on my tiptoes to kiss him.

"Thank you." I meant it whole heartedly. "For everything."

Alice sighed and I looked over my shoulder at her. She was making a face.

"You gooey love birds," she complained. Then she grinned and held up a sketch. My mouth fell open. It was beautiful. . . and scarily accurate. There were three sketches on the paper, a front, side, and rear view of the hair style she was planning for me.

The recurring dream of me and Edward on a porch, me in a beautiful white dress, would come true in a week, I was sure of it. The dress Alice had bought, knowing full well I'd let her, had stepped directly out of the dream, and until that moment I'd forgotten how I looked in it. The style she proposed left half of my hair down, waves falling down, with the other half being pinned curls which accumulated in an intricate knot on my head.

"Do you like it?" Alice's voice was unsure and she one corner of her mouth was slightly down. Suddenly she grinned and gave a relieved sigh.

"I do, Alice," I said, knowing she'd just seen the future. "I love it."

Edward chuckled and Alice poked her tongue out at him. A quiet cough was made, for my benefit I knew, and Jasper stepped in. He looked at the paper in Alice's hand and smiled.

"It's OK if you deny her _something_," he said and gave me what could have been a pitied look.

I grinned. "Not a chance. I trust her visions enough to know that she wouldn't propose anything I wouldn't love."

Edward sighed and I looked back to him, my arms winding themselves around him again.

"I should take you home," Edward said reluctantly.

It was my turn to sigh but I nodded my head anyway. "I don't want Charlie getting all the blame."

"Just like I won't let you get all of it," Edward promised and flashed his teeth as he smiled.

The fact that I would never be alone was wonderful. It comforted me in my frustration and in my sadness to know that Edward was as chained to me as I was to him. I would never have to face anything alone if I didn't want to. So while I felt terrible about letting himself be pulled into a fight with my parents, I knew that he wouldn't sit by silently and let me contend them alone. He had called me brave, but I admired his bravery at willingly facing Charlie and Renée. Edward was utterly perfect.

NB: Thank you so much for reading! I'd love any comments you have, so please review!


	3. Chapter 3: Impatience

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Thank you for reading and reviewing my stories! If you have any suggestions/criticisms, please let me know, I appreciate it!

Impatience

By the time we got there, about two minutes because of Edward's insane driving skills, Charlie had already given up. Renée was accusing him of failing in his duties as a father and regretting that she had ever let me come live in Forks. Edward gave my hand a fierce squeeze and shoved me into leading him inside.

Everything always happened in the kitchen. I thought that may have been because of the desperate painting of the cabinets, but I wasn't sure. It was the center of all drama, good and bad. Charlie was sitting in his usual seat, a resigned look on his face, and Renée was pacing, her eyes confused and frustrated. She stopped in her tracks when Edward and I entered. I stood there, keenly aware of Edward's close, protective, proximity and waited for what I knew was going to come.

Renée's face fell and my nerves buckled. She was my mother, despite her often childish life, wasn't she supposed to be right all the time? What if Edward _did_ stop loving me? What if. . .

Stop it, I told myself. If he was going to stop loving me, surely he would have done so by now. No, my mother was wrong in whatever she was thinking.

"Mom," I dared myself to speak and Renée's eyes watered. She stepped forward to me and stopped directly in front of me.

"Bella, please. Please, don't do this." My throat caught as she begged. I was ready for the wrath, not the pleading. "Bella, you have your whole life ahead of you. Why not wait? Wait, just two years, or one if you think, but please, Bella. Please wait. Trust me on this, you're not ready."

Her eyes moved from me to Edward with a slightly panicked look.

"Edward, I know you're a sensible boy. You're wonderful, really, I have nothing against you personally. But this? You're too young!" She shook her head. I felt water treacle down my cheek.

This was proving more complicated than I'd expected. An argument I was ready for, waterworks not so much. Renée's eyes shifted back to me and when she saw that I was crying too she instantly threw her arms around me and squeezed.

"Oh, Bella! I don't want you to! I can't stop you, I know, but please, think of the consequences!"

If only she knew exactly how deep those consequences were. I doubt she hypothesized my being in agony for three days while I turned into a blood-thirsty vampire. I doubt she realized that this would be the last time she would see me for months at least.

Charlie was shifting uncomfortably in his chair so I replied, my voice catching, as softly as possible for her ears alone.

"Mom, I love you. I have thought of the consequences, all of them, and of every scenario. This is what I want. I want to face these consequences. They sound better than anything else."

She let out a strangled cry and I squeezed her tighter. She didn't say anything but her tears were subsiding. She let go of me and made a face, wiping her tears away from her eyelashes.

"Look what you've made me do," she mumbled and I smiled. She gave me the strongest smile I'd ever seen and nodded her head. "I really, truly wish you both the best of luck."

"Thanks, Mom."

Charlie coughed and stood up with a horrible screech as the chair moved.

"Um, I can take you back to the inn, if you'd like, Renée."

She gave him a smiling nod, her eyes gazing over me and Edward. She kissed my cheeks and squeezed me again before following Charlie out the door.

Just before the front door closed I heard Charlie say, "Please don't ever try to dissuade her again."

An explosive sigh escaped me. Edward's arms clamped around me, spinning me around and kissing my eye, no doubt red, eyelids.

"See?" He asked smugly. "I told it wasn't anything to worry about."

"I always worry these days."

"Please don't, it makes me worry about you. This is supposed to be a stress free, joyous time for us. We shouldn't have a care in the world."

I lay my head against his cool shirt, all the colder because of his body. "I'm just looking forward to putting this all behind me."

A deep chuckle rumbled through him and suddenly I was in his arms and flying up the stairs. He lay me gently on the bed and grinned at me, illuminating the darkness with his smile.

I giggled, completely helpless, as he bombarded me with kisses.

"Shouldn't you move the car?" I asked him, hoping he'd somehow already done it.

He groaned a little and eased off of the kisses. I sighed. Clearly he hadn't moved it yet. He gazed into my eyes with golden orbs and kissed me hard before muttering "Be right back."

Suddenly he was gone, a breeze wafting through the room from my open window. I was gasping for breath. He left me breathless in more than one way. I impatiently waited for my last human experience.

Calming myself down, both physically and emotionally, I put on the pajamas I hadn't taken off only a few hours earlier. Charlie didn't seem suspicious, but I wondered if he was curious about my copious amount of time in bed. I couldn't wait until the day I wouldn't have to worry about Charlie checking in on me. A shiver ran down my back. Seven days. Almost six. Only six days now. My fingers trembled as I applied paste to my toothbrush.

I am ready, I kept telling myself. Absolutely, no reservations ready. As ready as can be.

I gulped anyway. Six days left of being human, of being the Bella I've always known myself to be. Alternative lives flashed before my eyes. Lives I could never have. One face in particular haunted my alternative realities.

I scowled at my reflection and finished brushing my teeth. I'd made the only choice that, quite literally, I couldn't live without. I could have lived through others, but not without Edward. He was, irrevocably my match. In this unreal world he was the reason for my continued existence.

I knew Edward was there the moment I opened the bathroom door. His scent was so sweet, and his alabaster skin radiated in the dark hallway. I wrapped my arms around him and let him lead me back to my room and closed my door behind us.

"I'm proud of you," he said and kissed me, picking me up easily and laying me on the bed. He was next to me in a moment, his head resting on crooked elbow, and playing with a piece of my hair.

"Why? I think I just broke my mother's heart."

He chuckled softly, his breath intoxicating me. "You told her you were going to face the consequences. That was very bold." His cold lips pressed against my cheek, my lips and my neck. I barely remembered to breathe. It was impossible to think straight.

He sighed and drew away, reluctantly. His breath was uneven. It had been getting harder and harder to stick to the rules. For both of us. So we lay side by side, bodies touching but never too closely, staring into each others eyes.

"Will this all change?" I whispered.

"Will what change?"

"The way we feel, the way we act. Will that change when I'm a. . ." a searched for a neutral word and he grinned.

"When you're a vampire?" he asked.

I smiled. "Are you positive you can't read my mind?"

"Absolutely," he said as he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me onto him. "And no," he said and caressed my hair. "Nothing will change."

As we kissed, as we inevitably would, I groaned as I gasped for breath.

"What is it?" his voice was alarmed.

"Six whole days!" I mumbled and resumed kissing him.

He chuckled into the darkness and I prayed that the six days would fly quickly by.


	4. Chapter 4: Stupid Love

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Your reviews have been _amazing_! They encourage me so much, and I really appreciate it! Please let me know if you have any comments. :-D

Stupid Love

Renée had been watching me with wide, worried eyes all day. She'd behaved wonderfully, though, not saying anything negative. Of course that was hard to do in the presence of the Cullens. While the initial reaction was usually one of wariness, people warmed to them instantly. It was impossible not to.

Alice had made plans for a ladies' day, conveniently rescuing me from alone time with my mother. So we, along with Esme and Rosalie, were at the Cullen's magnificent house going over wedding arrangements. My mother loved my dress. She loved the decorations Alice had bought. She loved everything, but her eyes stayed worried.

Esme was working her magic, though. Renée had been surprised to see just how long Edward's "adopted" mother was and doubted her competency, though she was no judge herself, until Esme spoke. Her motherly instincts oozed and she and Renée found plenty of inside jokes to mention. I tried not to smile too suspiciously as I watched them.

Rosalie, beautiful blond bombshell Rosalie, smiled charmingly and was lovely the entire time. Her attitude towards me the past month had changed ever so slightly. We weren't quite friends yet, but she was silently accepting my decision to willingly give up my humanity. I didn't think she would ever understand that, but I hoped that it wouldn't make things worse.

As evening came the men returned from a hike with Phil trailing happily behind. Charlie had declined to join them, having taken the weekend shift. I was sure he did so intentionally, and I wished things weren't the way they were. I had no idea whether he and Phil would like each other, as I doubted they had met when Charlie dropped Renée off last night.

"There's some interesting scenery, I'll give you that." Phil was saying as they entered. His tone of voice sounded as though he had only half enjoyed it.

"Well, it does rain a lot," Carlisle said with a grin.

Renée laughed and I looked at her, surprised by the action. Edward came to my side right away, kissing me and then fastening his arm around my waist.

"That's an understatement to the worst degree," she explained and I grinned. Ah, rainy Forks. How I had once hated the dark, gloomy skies. Now it was almost my favorite type of weather. Almost. I would love sunny days once more when Edward and I were in privacy. I suddenly wondered if I would still be blinded by Edward's dazzling skin once I glittered too.

"I suggested that we take Renée and Phil out to dinner," Edward said and I looked up at him.

"Oh, um, okay. Great idea!" Where are you going to hide the food, hmm? I thought silently.

Taking her cue, Esme stepped forward and hugged Renée, a little awkwardly, but I hoped that would be passed off as due to the unsure relationship.

"It's been a pleasure to finally meet you," she said and Renée flushed.

"Same here. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all that you're doing for Bella. An entire wedding on such short notice! I don't know how you've managed to pull it off!"

"Alice loves projects," I mumbled and Emmett laughed before plopping onto the couch. Jasper's calm and quiet presence joined him and it was Carlisle's turn to stretch out a hand and make compliments.

As we walked down the porch steps towards Edward's car Renée leaned in to me and said, "They're so _nice_! I didn't know such nice people could be real. I'm glad that, with everything considered, they'll be your family. They're so _wonderful_."

I laughed and held the back door open for Renée as Phil and Edward crossed to the other side. "I know, Mom. I just love them too."

As Edward turned around and headed back down the long driveway Phil asked, "So are you two getting a house of your own, or what?"

Whoops. I hadn't thought of that question.

"Uh," I began but Edward gave my hand a pat and smiled in the rear view mirror at Phil.

"Well, we've only got a little while before we have to be at Dartmouth." Ugh, I hated that lie.

"Oh, right. I'd forgotten," Phil said and let it lie without further question. Renée, unfortunately, did not.

"But you don't have to be at school until the end of August. Where are you going to live for that month?" Her voice was slightly panicked, as though the lack of our public plans was reason enough to end the affair.

Well, Mom, I thought in my head. We're going to disappear for a few weeks, at least, to a place without any humans while I turn into a blood-thirsty, but oh so beautiful (hopefully) vampire. The end of my humanity seemed to be making my mind much more sarcastic than usual.

"You might want to ask Carlisle and Esme," Edward said carefully. "I think they've been planning something." He grinned and Renée sat back in her seat with a huff.

"As in an apartment somewhere? An extended honeymoon? Those are both awfully expensive."

"So is Dartmouth, Mom," I said and turned in my seat to smile at her. "Don't worry so much. You'll get frown lines."

"I'm just thinking about your comfort, Bella," she said in as motherly a tone as she could master.

I smiled at her again. "I'll be perfectly comfortable, I'm sure." Minus the whole burning pain I'll endure for days.

I saw Edward glance at me, his eyes dark. Clearly he'd had a similar thought. His knuckles were white as he clenched the steering wheel. I lay a hand on his leg and bantered with Phil about the outing, hoping Edward would stop worrying too.

After a short debate about where to eat, the options were few, we wound up inside of the tacky Lodge. Renée was red as she recognized people and kept her head down most of the meal.

"I bet the town has been alight with gossip," she commented.

I shuddered and Edward laughed.

"Unfortunately, yes," I confessed.

"Those things never change. How many of them are invited?"

"Not many. A few friends from school, that's all. I really didn't want a big show."

Phil snorted into his drink and we all looked at him. Edward was smirking, knowing what he was thinking.

"All those wedding favors and stuff, were for a _few_ people?" He said and shook his head. "Either you have a strange concept of the word few or you're spoiling your guests."

I grinned and held up my hands. "Hey, I had very little to do with it. This is Alice's thing, not mine."

Renée frowned. I'd never seen her frown so much. "Whose wedding is this?" She muttered it so quietly I knew I was supposed to have heard. My forehead creased. She noticed my eyes on her and straightened slightly.

"I just meant that you should have taken a greater hand in everything."

"I didn't _want_ to. Edward and I set the date. We approved the guest list. We approved the stationary. I couldn't have done a better job of things." Granted, the urge to elope to Vegas had been overwhelming, but that wouldn't have been enough closure. I needed to finish this life perfectly before beginning my next one. "She's giving me a dream wedding, and I feel nothing but gratitude."

Phil was looking at his gravy-laden food as though he felt guilty for saying anything pertaining to the wedding. Renée sighed and gave me a strained smile.

"She is a wonderful planner. She should go into business."

Edward took the opportunity to draw the conversation away from stress and instead informed Renée about Alice's "plans" to attend the same college as Jasper, her "brother" in all matters mortal.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. We all seemed to be eating quickly as though anxious for it to be over, but I knew that Renée and Phil had nothing better to do. There was absolutely nothing on the limited TV channels the bed and breakfast subscribed to. The fact that summer days were so long was beginning to wear on us all.

"It was great to meet your folks," Phil said at the end of the night as he and Renée exited the car.

"Yes, it was. . . nice." My mother's voice was happy, if halting, but her eyes were as fixed on me as ever. They were still sad, but at least she hadn't openly spoken about her worries. With a inward sigh I hugged my mother tightly and she returned it.

Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway as we pulled in behind it. Something made me sit in my seat and stare at the house. I was jealous of Charlie and angry with him for leaving me to my mother. Not that I could blame him in any way, but I still didn't like it.

Edward let out a heavy sigh and I flicked my head to look at him. I hadn't heard such a terrifying sigh in at least a few days. A streak of yellow light appeared on the grass as Charlie opened the front door and headed towards us.

"Don't worry," was all Edward said before getting out of the car and walked around to open my door. Charlie, standing a few feet away, had a worried face. Every one seemed to have painted worried faces on. I wondered if they would wash away before my "big day."

"Bells," Charlie's voice was soft. I instantly panicked.

"What?" My throat automatically caught and I had difficulty swallowing.

Edward's arm wrapped around me protectively as Charlie said "Billy called. Jacob's gone missing. He left the reservation a few days ago and no one's seen him."

My weight sagged onto Edward who held me up with ease. Charlie probably didn't even notice that I felt like fainting.

What was he thinking? My head flickered with torturous memories. I closed my eyes and mentally screamed at them to stop. My Jacob. My other love. Gone. Missing. I knew why.

I opened my eyes, utterly determined. Charlie's face was concerned and Edward's cautious.

"Well?" I asked. "That's too bad. I'd help if I could, but I can't." A bitter taste stuck in my mouth. It was true, though. I wouldn't know where to look for him. If Billy had called then it was clearly beyond the hands of the wolves and if they couldn't track his trace, I certainly wouldn't be able to.

A scowl crossed Charlie. "Bella. That's not right. He's a good friend of yours. You should-"

"Was, Dad. He _was_ a good friend of mine." Tears stung at my eyes. Stop it! I yelled at myself. No tears for him! I made my choice!

Charlie shook his head and opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"What am I supposed to do? Cry and stamp my foot? No, Dad. I wish him well. I hope they find him, but I can't do or say anything else. It's not like that any more."

Charlie's face was turning purple. I sighed. "Charlie, please. I'm tired. I've had to defend myself against mom all day. I don't want to defend myself here, too. I'm going to bed." I turned and stood up on tip toe to kiss Edward, giving him a meaningful look before reluctantly leaving his arms.

His face made me nervous. It was still cautious, like I might still change my mind. Never, I told myself bitterly.

Walking up the stairs I heard Charlie ask Edward. "What happened between them? They were so close."

I missed the conversation willingly as I closed my bedroom door. I thought. My window was still wide open, though, letting in the summer breeze. And their voices.

"- Bella said goodbye," Edward was saying.

Charlie huffed. I thought he must have crossed his arms, trying to be intimidating. "He was a good friend to her, Edward."

"I know that, Charlie. I owe him a lot. I know that. I'll see what I can do."

My heart pulled. Stupid love, I thought. Stupid, stupid, me. Why was I always messing things up? I thought I'd finally escaped. I thought I'd left Jacob behind me. It hurt me to know that he'd left, but I couldn't cry for him. Edward was the one I couldn't live without. I'd made my choice. I thought I'd left it behind me.

My right hand played with the tiny charm Jacob had given, had _made_, me. I heard the front door close and the TV turn on. I was glad, yet again, that Charlie didn't pry. He probably assumed I was upset and crying, and nothing was worse for him to deal with than teenage tears.

I hadn't heard the Volvo leave, but Edward was suddenly on the bed, sitting beside me. I didn't look up, my eyes were locked on the charm, but I could tell he was wondering about my decision. I took a deep breath, looked up, grabbed his cold face in both hands- his surprised face was adorably handsome- and kissed him for all my worth.

"Don't _ever_ doubt me," I warned and he gave me his crooked smile.

"Never. You're far too dangerous."


	5. Chapter 5: Ready

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Your comments have been _amazing_ and so flattering! I really appreciate them all, they make my day! Please let me know if you have any comments/suggestions.

Ready

Charlie couldn't avoid meeting Phil for ever. So during while Alice, Esme, and Renée drove to Olympia to do something wedding related, I was proud of my ignorance about what it was, I cornered Charlie and invited Phil to come fishing with us. Fishing. I didn't know what else to do. It was an area in which, hopefully, Charlie would feel superior. I had no idea if Phil could fish or not.

Apparently, he could not. The drive to a good spot was awkward. I sat in the middle of the back seat of the patrol car, hoping we didn't pass anyone who knew me, and watched in silence as they both stared at the gray road ahead. My attempts at conversation were lame at best. Sports was a good area for them both, but I had such little knowledge I didn't know where to begin.

Things began to thaw once Phil had a pole in his hand. I sat on the bank, far from the icy summer water, and tried to avoid anything hazardous. Phil was turning red with frustration when Charlie finally noticed.

"Oh, hey, you've got to get your line like this," he said and rescued Renée's second husband. They looked so strange sitting in the boat together. They avoided conversation for a while, something which came more naturally to Charlie than Phil, and once they warmed to each other I droned out their quiet voices. They didn't want to scare the fish aware, Charlie explained.

I was lying on my back when I heard a twig snap. A great white shape appeared above me and grinned down. I grinned back.

"How's it going with them?" Edward asked as he sat down and I sat upright. He didn't need me to answer as he was reading their thoughts. He chuckled. "If they didn't love the same woman they might have been friends."

My throat tightened. His words could be applied to two scenarios. That of Renée and her husbands, and that of me and my loves. Despite my desperate attempts not to think of Jacob Black, he was still haunting me. Half my heart would always be with him. I hoped that when I was finally a Cullen, in every sense of the word, I would forget him. But I also knew that was improbable.

Where did you go? I asked the mental picture of my Jacob.

Edward's arm wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I can't wait," I said truthfully and impatiently.

He chuckled. "Is that a comment on the wedding or something else?"

"Both," I grinned. On the water, Charlie was reeling in a catch while Phil bounced up and down excitedly. Like little boys.

"It's strange seeing them together. Especially without Renée. I'd expect it if she were here, but I wasn't sure that they would get along with each other."

"Well they're not the best of friends, but there doesn't seem to be any animosity between them." A few moments passed in silence before he suddenly said, "Are you happy, Bella?"

I considered the question. "I'm not _unhappy_. I don't like Renée's worry and disappointment, but I can live with it. And it's a relief to see that Charlie and Phil are able to coexist. So, yeah. I'm happy. I'm with you, aren't I?" I turned my head to smile at him. His eyes were a darker shade of topaz. He would probably have to hunt soon. I sighed inwardly. I hated it when he left me.

"And Jacob's disappearance?"

I pulled away from him to scowl. "Didn't I tell you never to doubt me?"

"I'm not doubting you, Bella. I just want to know if you're unhappy about that."

I sighed. "I don't like what he's done, sure, but I'm not going to let myself worry about him. He's out of my life now." A fresh wound opened in my heart as I said the bitter words out loud.

Edward nodded and played with moved his hand to play with a strand of my hair.

"I'm going to look for him."

"What?" I stared at him.

The corner of his mouth twitched up, but it wasn't necessarily in a smile.

"You need to know that he's safe," Edward explained softly and let my hair fall back in place.

"No, I don't. I already know he's safe. He can take care of himself." I was lying a little. I had always wanted to protect him for some bizarre reason, but I knew that he could take care of himself. A werewolf could, hopefully, defend itself.

Edward was scrutinizing my face, searching for something. I let my eyes soften and reached a hand out to his face.

"Don't leave me," I whispered. I was a horrible, horrible person using this defense.

As I expected, Edward's jaw tightened. Then he laughed and I blinked at him.

"You're terrible," he said and kissed me. "Alright, I won't look for him, but I'm going to listen for him anyway."

I nodded and leaned into him again. "I can't stop you from doing that."

As the afternoon started to blur with evening Charlie and Phil were loading their catches into a cooler. Neither of them seemed surprised to see Edward and they eagerly let me ride with him instead of the awkward middle seat. Edward's phone rang as we drove along the road, at a pace Edward was fuming about. Alice's expedition party was almost back, and she was going to drop Renée off at Charlie's house rather than the inn. I suspected that she had seen the abundance of fish in a vision.

We arrived just before the black Mercedes of Carlisle's pulled up and Renée got out. Esme and Alice stepped in only for a moment, insisted that Edward stay, and left promptly. Charlie and Phil were sitting on the couch in the living room, the TV blaring. Renée looked between me and them and I told her I would handle dinner on my own. With a resigned look she sat down and watched awkwardly as the men chatted. She looked as stunned as I felt.

Edward didn't help as I made fish fry. The smell, he muttered, was absolutely revolting. I agreed, though my senses were not as good as his. I was comfortable enough with the smell, but it wasn't going to be my favorite.

Edward went up to my room and brought down the chair from my computer desk, pulling the table away from the wall and making the kitchen even smaller with the now four mismatched chairs. He drudged up a fifth one, from where I had no idea and wondered if he had moved so fast he'd gotten it from far away, and sat in it. As I waited for vegetables and fish to cook, I watched him watching me. My eyes were fastened on his and he grinned at me suddenly.

"The broccoli is done," he said and I forced myself to blink and rush to the microwave to rescue the greens. The fish followed suit and Edward summoned my family. It was all so surreal.

Charlie looked taken aback at the number of chairs which had magically appeared. He frowned, trying to identify which one was his. I wondered if he had ever noticed the make of it, or just the position. It made me smile.

"This is delicious," Phil said as he helped himself to more fish. He looked at Edward and held out the platter of fillets. "You don't want more?"

Edward smiled charmingly and shook his head. "I'm stuffed." I smiled at him, though his darkening eyes made me sad. He was getting hungry for his own meal.

Phil shook his head as though he didn't understand. He passed the platter to Charlie who willingly took the rest. Renée was watching me from across the table.

"You're marrying a good cook, Edward," Charlie said as he dug in.

Renée's eyes flickered from me to Edward and back.

"Indeed," Edward said and squeezed my hand gently under the table. I tried not to laugh.

"I've had lots of practice," I said truthfully and Renée opened her mouth to speak. She thought better of it, though, and closed it with a sigh.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bella, my family and I are going hiking tomorrow," Edward said and I stared at him.

"Tomorrow?" As in the day before the wedding tomorrow? My stomach fluttered at me.

"Good timing," Charlie said with his mouth full. "It's supposed to be bright and sunny."

Renée snorted quietly and I grinned at her. Sun and Washington state were not associated with one another very often.

"Yeah," Charlie continued. "That's a great idea. Getting out with the family one last time. Good idea."

I swallowed and stared at the table.

"How long will you be gone?" Renée asked.

"A few hours, maybe. We're not planning anything too long."

A few hours. Without Edward. The day before my doom. My stomach was having trouble deciding if dinner agreed with me.

"Bella?" Edward asked and I looked up at him. "Would you like to come with us?"

My breathing got faster. I wondered if they were going hunting or if they were just creating an alibi for the sunny weather. Would he let me come if they were hunting? He'd told me he'd never let me see that, but maybe he wanted me to see what he was capable of. What I would be capable of. Maybe he wanted me to change my mind.

I bit my lip hard. I was annoying myself with such thoughts. Everyone was watching me so I had to make a decision. Only I couldn't I didn't know what he wanted me to say. So I shrugged.

"Sure. If you don't think your family will mind?"

He grinned at me and my nerves disappeared.

"I'm sure they won't," he assured me and gave my hand another squeeze. I was still wondering about what he was planning to do.

"Well, be sure not to stay out too late," Charlie said.

"Yes," Renée chimed. "You don't want to be too anxious for the wedding."

Wedding. Yuck. My mother seemed to loathe saying the word as much as I did, understandably. I shuddered involuntarily and remembered something my mother had mentioned earlier.

"Oh, um. I guess I should pack my things." I hadn't thought any more of moving out since dinner the other night. Surely Charlie wasn't expecting Edward to move in? I cringed. Why hadn't I thought about that before?

"I'll help you," Renée said too quickly and scraped her chair on the floor as she rose and took her dish to the sink. "You men can handle the dishes, I hope."

I gave Edward a panicked look and he smiled at me and kissed my forehead. Renée was waiting by the stairs so I reluctantly let go of Edward's hand and followed her up to my room. She stepped inside, it had been a long time since she'd seen the room, and seemed to gather it all in with her eyes. I went to the bed and sat down.

"I don't know where to start," I said. After all, what belongings would I need when I was a vampire? Presumably not much. I wondered what kind of clothes to take. Wherever we went it would be far from civilization, but would it cold? Oh. I hadn't thought of that. Did vampires get cold? I made a mental note to ask Edward. I knew he could feel the warmth of my skin, but what was the temperature like. I sighed audibly. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't know the details. Typical.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about too many clothes," Renée said as she walked to my computer. "I believe Alice's gift is an entire makeover."

"Alice!" I groaned. She had wonderful taste, but why did she always have to spend it on me? I should have guessed.

"So that leaves things you don't want to leave behind."

Now that I had thought about. I got up and gathered the photo album I had started almost a year ago. As my fingers trailed over the cover I wondered about the year. An entire year with unbelievable loss and outstanding gain. I still wondered some days whether or not this was all a dream.

I set the album on the bed and went to the CD player where I retrieved the gift Edward had given me. My hands on my hips, my eyes moved over the room wondering if that was really everything. I took a deep breath and nodded to Renée.

"I guess that's everything."

"That's not very much, Bella."

I shrugged. "I don't need much."

She sighed and looked at her hands. I felt a twinge of regret. I walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulders. She looked up and I gave her a big smile.

"I'm excited, Mom. I really am. Aren't you excited for me?" I couldn't hide the hint of desperation in my voice.

Renés's arms folded around me and she nodded with a sniff. She was crying again.

"I'm so excited for you, Bella. You're so grown up!" She laughed and pulled away, brushing her tears away. "Such a cliché, but it's true." She took a deep breath and smiled at me. Really smiled, it was the smile I hadn't seen in a few months.

"You're ready, Bella. You really are ready."

I gulped.


	6. Chapter 6: Almost There

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Once again, thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! Your words are awesome inspiration. I'm sorry if this chapter is a little lacking in details, I promise to shell it out in the next one!

Almost There

Charlie drove Phil and Renée back to the inn with a cheerful attitude. It surprised me more than I liked to admit. Renée seemed as surprised as I was, watching them carefully when we rejoined them and cautiously entering into the conversation. I think we were both waiting for the fists to start flying. That would have made more sense.

The moment I opened my window to let in the humid summer air, and Edward, he was beside me. After scooping me up with a grin and lying me on top of the quilt on my bed he played with a strand of my hair, his head propped up by one elbow. He was frowning ever so slightly and when I snuggled against his cold marble chest he didn't automatically embrace me like usual.

"Edward?" I asked and lifted my chin to see his face. He was looking bad with strange eyes and sighed, dropping the strand and stroking my face instead.

"I really want you to change your mind," he muttered in an angry tone.

Taken aback, I frowned. "About what?" If this was about the wedding or my demands, I was prepared for a fight.

"Going with us tomorrow."

"But. . . you made it sound like I was welcome."

"You are welcome, Bella, always. I just wish you'd say no."

I bit my lip. "You're going hunting?"

He nodded and resumed playing with my hair.

"You're not going to scare me," I insisted. "And you're not going to convince me to wait."

"I won't try and convince you," he said. "I've spent too much time trying to convince myself taking your life is an acceptable thing. And you may have seen scarier things, but I'm the one who's afraid now."

"What? Why?" The idea of him being afraid of anything made me extremely nervous.

"Do you remember what I told you about what happens when we go hunting?" He chuckled. "That was a long time ago, I wouldn't be surprised if you've forgotten."

"I've never forgotten anything you've told me," I said automatically and despite the fact that it was completely true, it was a double edged sword. His eyes pained and I regretted it instantly.

"I wish you would. I wish I'd never said some things." His frown was furious on his perfectly sculpted face.

"I forgive you, Edward. Don't change the topic. What is it you're afraid of?"

His frown disappeared and was replaced by a tender look. My breath whooshed out of me.

"When we hunt we give ourselves to our instincts completely. For me, it will be the ultimate test." His voice broke at the end, his eyes pained.

I grinned. "Is that all?" I couldn't help it, I laughed. He scowled with confused eyes.

"I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. I promised myself I would never risk losing you ever again, and here you've agreed to help me break that promise."

"Oh, Edward, I understand. You're afraid that someone, whether it's you or one of the others, will lose control and turn on me instead. But I think you underestimate yourself, I don't think you could ever let me get hurt." I sighed and looked at his chest, my fingers dancing along the marble surface. I added in a whisper, "Just like you won't kill me on the night."

His icy arms pulled me closer to him and his breathing was uneven. Realizing I'd been holding my breath, expecting some other reaction, I let it out slowly and pushed myself up so that my face was level with his. His face was straight and his eyes black. His hands suddenly seized my face and he kissed me so hard I was forced to break away for breath. He smirked and moved a hand to rest on my waist and my hips automatically moved closer to him. I grinned. His white teeth smiled back and he resumed kissing me.

After a few moments, when I was forced gasp for air, he sighed and rolled onto his back. Panting, I rolled on top of him, determined to continue but his grinned and shook his head so I ignored his lips and kissed his neck, his collarbone, and smiled in victory when his breathing became uneven again.

"I've asked Alice to stay with you tomorrow night," he said and I stopped, lifting my chin to rest it on his chest and stare at him.

"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," he explained and my eyes narrowed.

"You're going to worry about bad luck_ now_? It's a bit late, isn't it? I've a magnet for trouble, how much bad luck can I avoid?"

He chuckled and rolled us both over. "Just trying to respect tradition."

I groaned. "Forget tradition. We're far from traditional. Please stay with me?" I opened my eyes pleadingly and he chuckled again before kissing my forehead.

"Silly Bella. I'll stay with you until midnight, how's that? Then, once you're asleep, Alice will stay with you instead."

"And how are you going to avoid reading her mind? Besides, I'm getting all dolled up at your house, we're bound to see each other." And I didn't like the idea of not seeing him for a while, so close to the event which I was dreading. The _wedding_. I shuddered at the thought. I may have been able to say it out loud, but it didn't make it any less disgusting to me. Spending eternity with Edward, sure; saying "I do," not so much.

He shook his head and kissed my neck. "I'm going to try blocking out everyone's thoughts, which I don't think will be too hard since I'll be thinking so much about you I won't know which thought is who's," he whispered in my ear and I shivered with delight at his cool breath touching my skin.

I groaned again. "Is it too late to elope?" I asked and he laughed once before he continued kissing me.

"No, but you don't mean it." He may not have been able to read my mind, but he guessed correctly most of the time. "Are you sure you want to come tomorrow?" His tone was somber once more.

I entwined my hands in his hair. "I don't ever want to be away from you for more than five minutes. And that's pushing it."

He laughed and kissed my lips. "Sleep, Bella. We're almost there."

One more day. The suspense was killing me, both literally and figuratively. Last minute thoughts of Charlie and Renée flickered through my mind. My goodbyes would have to be intense, and I wasn't sure if I could do that. The idea of them believing I was just leaving to be married was a scary enough thing without adding their possible suspicions of never seeing me again. If only the possibility wasn't so possible. I shuddered as I remembered the newborn vampire I'd seen just a few weeks earlier. Her uncontrollable thirst for my blood, her terrifying red eyes. Alice had told me the uncontrollable urges would diminish after a few _years_, maybe less if I was lucky. How long would it be until I saw my parents again? Would I ever?

As though sensing my rising distress, Edward started humming my lullaby. My thoughts faded away into the darkness and I let myself relax into Edward's cold arms. I would never let him leave me again. Not for a hunting trip and not for a silly tradition.


	7. Chapter 7: The Hunt

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Thank you for your comments! You're making my first fan fiction experience absolutely amazing. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please read and review!

The Hunt

"You seem to like the outdoors a lot these days," Charlie commented over breakfast. I shrugged and continued to hurriedly stuff my face. "You never liked it before."

With an inward sigh I swallowed. "Well, I guess I do like it now." Though not so much that I wouldn't do anything outside, like hiking or hunting, without Edward. Knowing my luck I'd probably break both my legs if I was alone.

I stared at my now empty bowl, wondering where he'd got to. He didn't usually take so long before knocking at the front door. The silence of the kitchen gave my mind the chance to wander reluctantly. Everything was ready for tomorrow. Renée hadn't been happy about the fact that today was going to be beautiful and sunny and tomorrow overcast and gloomy. I had to smile to myself about that. There was a time when I loved the sun, but now I loved the gray skies just as much.

I'd been hoping that Emmett would get the Internet clerical license like Edward had suggested, but I also knew that Renée and Charlie would be frowning the entire time, and I would probably be laughing uncontrollably. So instead I settled for an innocent, oblivious looking minister from Port Angeles. I was secretly hoping he'd be nervous and speak fast so that it would be over quickly. I shuddered when I realized that tomorrow I would be _married_. Ew, ew ew. But then again, in a few days I'd equal to Edward. The ends justify the means, I told myself.

The knock at the door made me jump and Charlie sighed.

"You're absolutely antsy," he muttered. "Come on in, Edward," He yelled but Edward was already in the kitchen, leaning against the doorway.

"'Morning, Charlie," he said and then grinned at me. "Good morning, Bella."

My mouth twitched involuntarily. He was absolutely gorgeous today with jeans and a blue shirt. I sighed dreamily.

"The sun's almost out, do you mind if we get going?" He asked pointedly and I grinned.

"Absolutely!" I tossed my bowl and spoon into the sink and said goodbye to Charlie who muttered something about enthusiasm and then I was in Edward's arms and he was guiding me out the door and to his car.

"Where are we going? Are we hunting mountain lions, or bears, or what?" I asked as soon as we were inside the car.

Edward laughed. "Mountain lions are too far away."

"We can go, I don't mind, it's whatever you want." I said a little too quickly. My heart was thumping embarrassingly and he turned his head to look at me.

"Are you alright? Your heart's doing cartwheels." His eyes tried to decipher my thoughts. "You don't have to come, you know."

"Yes, I do." I meant it. "Watching will let me see what I'll have to be doing soon enough. I may as well pick up some tips in advance. I'm just nervous about tomorrow."

Edward grinned and took my hand in his, stroking my ring with one finger. The ring dazzled me every time I looked at it, and seemed to weigh me down when I wasn't looking. Would it always seem so heavy? Even when I'd taken it off for showers or washing dishes, it left the smallest mark of red on my finger and a ghostly feeling.

"I'm nervous too," he said and I balked at him unbelievingly.

"Really? Why are _you_ nervous?"

"I've never done this either, Bella," he reminded me. "It's a definite first."

I sighed as he squeezed my hand. It was happening so quickly and so slowly at the same time it was torturous.

Only a few minutes after leaving Charlie's house we were flying down the highway and came to a halt on the side of a dirty path. He was at my door and opening it as soon as we stopped. The sun was beginning to win the battle over the clouds and his skin was shimming ever so slightly. His beauty too my breath away yet again.

Throwing me over his back, I held onto him tightly and we ran through the green forest at an impossible speed. I inhaled his scent as I enjoyed the air whooshing through my hair. He slowed and then stopped before pulling me off. My legs didn't quite regain their strength in time and Edward caught me as they buckled. A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest and with one arm wrapped tightly around my waist we walked a few more feet through green trees and ferns. I stopped so suddenly I swooned. We were standing on the edge of a bluff, sheer gray rock falling below.

Edward was shaking my shoulders slightly when I finally broke my eye contact with the meadow so far below. I looked at his face, full of concern, and swallowed. My throat was suddenly incredibly dry.

"Bella?"

I shook my head to clear my brain of the horrible scene of the earth so far away. "I'm fine. I just. . . wasn't expecting a cliff."

"Well, I wasn't planning on taking you down with me."

"What? You're going down there? And leaving me up here?" I couldn't hide my discomfort.

"I'm not worried about me trying to hurt you, I think you were right when you said I couldn't hurt you because I wouldn't want to. So you have nothing to fear from me, but there are bears to worry about." He was smirking slightly.

I gulped. "What if a bear comes up here?"

"It won't. Please don't worry, Bella. If you worry I'll take you straight back home."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before nodding my head and letting my eyes show my calm. I smiled at him and placed a hand on his diamond face. "I'm not worried at all."

"Good." He grinned. "Just wait here and make yourself comfy. You'll be able to see me from here, but don't get too close to the edge, okay?"

I laughed. "Oh no worries there," I promised. I wasn't going to get any closer to the edge at all.

With a parting kiss he was gone and there was suddenly a sparkling object in the meadow so far below. I looked carefully at it, far away from the edge, and sighed dreamily again. His skin sparkled so magnificently, almost blindingly.

I sat down on the grass, which for once was not laden with dew, and looked up at the soft blue sky which was revealing itself. I figured I had a while before Edward could find a bear and herd it into the clearing where I would be able to watch. It wasn't long though before I heard vicious snarls echoing off the rock face and I sat up.

A blinding figure of light was wrestling, actually wrestling, an enormous bear. I had never seen a larger bear, even on TV. My jaw opened instinctively. The fight went on, and I found myself worrying though I couldn't tell if it was for Edward's safety or the bear's. A sickening snap, like a tree limb falling, forced me to look away. The bear's body had fallen to the ground, it's neck snapped so easily it may as well have been a twig to Edward. My breath was coming fast and as soon as I thought I could, I glanced down again. I couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but he was on the ground next to the bear, near its broken neck. I shuddered involuntarily. He was drinking its blood. I focused my energy on trying not to gag.

Something rustled the green ferns behind me and I looked over my shoulder, hoping it wasn't a bear come to avenge his buddy. It wasn't a bear. The eyes that I found myself staring into were too massive and too low for a bear. I was frozen with fear. I could barely breathe.

An enormous wolf stepped cautiously out of the forest. My jaw dropped and my head tilted. The huge thing was russet colored. It looked identical to Jacob's werewolf form.

"Jake?" I whispered cautiously.

The growl which responded made me jump. This was not my Jacob. The eyes of this massive beast were dark, dead. . . and hungry. The wolf's upper lip curled up and it snarled at me. Fear coursed through me and the wolf positioned itself as though it were about to leap at me.

I opened my mouth to call Edward's name, but it was too late. My vision was obscured by a reddish mass of fur and something dug sharply, painfully, into my arm. I was dragged roughly over the ground, screaming in pain. As green flickered by me, my vision went black and all my thoughts disappeared.


	8. Chapter 8: Lost

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter and I'm sorry about the cliffhanger, it was evil, I know. Please read and review, and let me know what you really think!

Lost

When I came to the sun was high in the blue sky. I blinked carefully and tried to sit up. Pain raced through my arm and I bit my lip hard to stop from screaming. Breathing through my mouth, I dared to look at it. The bite had pierced my skin almost to the bone and blood was gushing terribly. I looked away, trying not to be sick. That's when I saw him.

Twenty feet from me, on a fallen log, sat a massive shirtless figure. It was swaying back and forth, holding its head in its hands. My breath caught. The muscles in the man's back were rippling uncontrollably. I was paralyzed with shock. Part of me wanted to run away immediately, and part of me was dying to approach. They fought against each other so hard that I couldn't do either.

"J- Jacob?"

The rocking back and forth stopped and the person flicked his head around to see me. What I saw in that face terrified me. Black, dead eyes stared at me. They seemed bestial, as though he was no longer human. His eyes shifted to my arm and back to my face.

He stood up and walked towards me. I gasped and looked away, closing my eyes tightly.

The hollow chuckle which was a response was close to me and I felt heat radiating towards me. I shuddered as hot hands took my arm and held it out. I bit my lip trying not to cry, for pain or fear.

"Sorry 'bout that," the deep, hoarse voice mumbled. I was afraid to look up so I squeezed my eyes tighter.

"Bella, I need to rip your shirt," he said. "I've got to stop the blood."

I tried to pull my arm away but another voice made me stop in my tracks.

"Get. Away. From. Her."

I was more afraid now than ever before. Snarls echoed in the space where I was, wherever that was. I curled up on myself, ignoring the pain in my arm. A great ripping sound came from beside me and I jumped, screaming as I couldn't ignore the pain from the jolt.

"Stop." The second, cold, almost evil voice said. "We take care of her first. Then we finish this."

I was sobbing uncontrollably now, still refusing to open my eyes. Growls came from both sides of me, but a gentle, icy touch met my good arm.

"Bella. Let me see your arm." The voice was softer now, though still furious. I didn't dare open my eyes, but I let the cold hands move to my injured arm. A growl came from him and there was another ripping sound and then something tight was fastened around the arm.

An animal growl came from a few feet away and my medic responded with his own. I shied away from him and threw myself to the ground, grabbing the grass with my good hand and burying my face in the green smell. I couldn't breathe. Everything hurt. My arm. My heart. I wanted them to kill me. I wanted them both to turn on me and finish _me_. I was the most evil thing in the world. My existence brought only pain.

The monstrous ripping sound came again and a hoarse, croaking voice called my name.

"Don't you dare speak to her," Edward snapped. I felt him close to me, covering me protectively. His face was close to mine, but I was _not_ going to open my eyes. This was a nightmare I refused to see.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." The soft voice broke my heart and I wailed instinctively.

Edward growled and I felt him tense over me. He was going to spring. And Jacob wasn't in his wolf form.

"I won't fight," the soft voice said. "Kill me. Please. Kill me."

_That_ opened my eyes and I grabbed the closest marble arm with both my hands and pulled with all my strength. It wasn't enough to stop Edward from pouncing, but it was enough to delay him. His arms wrapped around me and he hugged me so tightly I thought I would suffocate. His breath was cool against my skin. I sobbed into his shirt, hiccuping uncontrollably.

"Why?" I whispered.

Edward's body tensed and my sore arm protested as he pressed me closer to him.

With a snarl he repeated my question for Jacob to hear.

"I. . . I don't know. I, I haven't been myself." His voice broke. "I haven't been me for weeks. I can't hear them any more. I can't hear anything. I'm, I'm. . . so lost."

Tears stained Edward's shirt and I took a deep breath. My chest was heaving with the effort but I managed to swallow and look up. Edward's face was locked onto mine. His eyes were the blackest I had seen since the first day we met. His face was just as livid, too. I blinked painfully and started to turn my head but Edward's hand turned it around again so I was forced to look at him. He was glaring behind me.

"Don't you have any _clothes_?" he demanded.

"No. Like I said, I haven't been myself."

I'd never seen a naked man before, and it made me flush furiously. I certainly never thought it would be _Jacob_ who would change that. Edward's eyes shifted back to me. They were furious, and strangely enough, scared.

"I love you," I whispered to Edward and gulped before starting to turn my head again.

Jacob was standing fifty feet away. His face was haunted and it was hard for me to continue looking at it. It was so. . . _empty._

He fell to his knees when I looked at him and his face wrinkled with pain. The cold arms around me tightened even more.

"It's. . . it's so hard. I, I can't do it. I can't." He lifted his head again and glared. His eyes were so full of hatred that I flinched.

"I _won't_ let him change you." He was snarling now and I drew in my breath sharply.

"No!" I yelled as Edward's grip loosened on me ever so slightly. They were going to fight. I felt it. The sense of impending doom was overwhelming. My sobbing resumed and I clung to Edward as tightly as I could.

"You think I _want_ to change her?" Edward's voice was so deadly my sobbing stopped in fear. I looked at his face. At this moment I was clinging to a vampire. A furious, deadly, and probably still thirsty, vampire.

"If you didn't want to, why would you?" Jacob's voice oozed with menace.

Edward snarled but my own anger was rising. I was hysterical, I knew that. But didn't I have reason to be? The two people who I loved most were snarling like the strange creatures they were. Over a human. A lousy, no good, human.

"_I_ want it." It took so much strength for me to say it that I nearly fainted from effort. The two scariest creatures I had ever seen were staring at each other with enough menace to kill.

Jacob shifted his hate filled eyes to me. Edward growled at him, the rumble shaking me.

"I _want_ to be changed, Jacob."

"You said you were afraid." It sounded like an accusation.

"I _am_ afraid, Jake!" I yelled at him. "I'm afraid every moment that something is going to happen that will separate me from Edward for ever! You really, _really_ don't understand. You think you can't live without me?" I was leaning closer to him, further from Edward whose arms did not stop me.

"I can live without _you_!" It was so cruel he flinched. His face was still hard. Still full of hatred. He stood up again and pointed at Edward.

"If you even _touch_ her you _will die_." His body rippled uncontrollably again and he was suddenly the fierce red wolf again. His black eyes were cruel and hungry again. His upper lip flicked back and his deadly teeth snapped at Edward. Then he spun and disappeared into the forest.

Edward's arms drew me back and I buried my face under his arm.

"Bella?" His voice was so full of concern I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

"I'm fine," I whispered into his arm.

"Are you afraid, Bella?" He couldn't hide the hurt in his voice.

"Yes," I admitted.

"Of what?" A finger hooked under my chin and he lifted my face so he could look into my eyes.

His face was hard but his eyes soft. He genuinely wanted to know. My heart thumped uncomfortably. Edward moved a hand to my face and smudged a tear away.

"I'm, I'm," I was hiccuping again. After a few tries I was able to just say it. "I'm afraid of being a monster."

His jaw tightened. "I won't change you."

"No!" I pleaded. "I don't mean _that_. I mean, I already am a monster! I've ruined everything. Everyone's lives are so screwed up because of _me_." Moisture accumulated in my eyes. "I'm afraid of losing you again. I'm afraid of what I've done to Jacob. I'm afraid of what I'm doing to Charlie and Renée, I'm afraid. . . ." My voice broke and I had to gasp a few breaths before I could continue. Edward's eyes were steely as he waited.

"I'm afraid that, even though _I_ will be happy, and maybe _you_ will be happy, everyone else will be miserable. Because of me. I'm afraid of hurting them."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pain shooting through my right arm, and laid my head against his shoulder. He was frozen for a moment before he turned his cheek to rest against my hair. He let out a deep breath, one I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"So you're still trying to make everyone else happy," he said after a while.

"Is that really such a bad thing?" My voice was getting hoarse.

"If it makes you this miserable? Yes. It's the very worst thing."

I sighed tragically. I was never going to win. Kismet was holding a grudge against me for something.

"Bella, you can't make everyone happy. You can only show them that you are and they will fall into place." He sighed again. "Let's get you to Carlisle."

We ran to the car, which seemed an impossibly long way away, and then sped towards the hidden entrance to the Cullen's driveway. My vision wasn't faring well. I was breathing as carefully as possible out of my mouth but the smell of my blood, still oozing, was overwhelming. I let me eyes fall closed and felt the car stop and Edward carry me up the porch stairs. Then I gratefully blacked out again.


	9. Chapter 9: Confessions

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Hey all! I'm really sorry if these past few chapters have caused you distress (which my close addicted friends inform it has to them). I believe in happy endings, though, so maybe everything will work out! It's going to be a surprise for me too. Please read and review, I'd love to know what you think!

Confessions

"You may like the outdoors a little more, but you seem to be as prone to accidents as always," Charlie said as he straightened his tie awkwardly. I sighed and walked over to help him. "It's a good thing Dr. Cullen was there, or that could have been much worse. You seem to trip yourself into the worst situations. I hope you don't trip tomorrow."

I sighed. "I hope so too, Dad."

Edward's bleak face had met mine when I woke up again. Carlisle had been wrapping gauze around my newly stitched wound, his face hard. I lay my head back down on the kitchen table. I'd lain injured on that same table two times too many. Both times I'd wished my injuries were mortal.

Carlisle finished, gave me a small smile, and left. I closed my eyes tightly hoping I would wake up and be able to redo the entire _week_.

"Bella," Edward had asked, his face deadly serious. "Do you want me to change? Tell me the truth."

I had struggled to sit up and managed to do so only when he helped me. I took a deep breath and stared back at him. His eyes had only the slightest hint of topaz. I didn't know if it was from anger or thirst that they weren't entirely gold.

"I honestly want to spend the rest of _existence_ with you, Edward Cullen." I was surprised that I managed to keep my face straight.

The corner of his mouth twitched up and he nodded slowly. I ran my left hand through his hair and kissed him, hoping that all was forgiven. But the hurt in Jacob's eyes haunted me. He truly meant what he'd said.

Edward sighed and I put my head against his chest, utterly resigned.

"The rehearsal dinner is in an hour," he said and I groaned without looking up. He scooped me off the table and set me on the floor. I still didn't move my head, clinging to him all the way back to Charlie's house.

Edward helped me think of an alibi, I fell and rolled until I hit a sharp rock. Charlie would never have to see the bizarre semi-circular wound which engulfed my upper arm. He accepted the story easily, knowing me to have done much more damage to myself in a single trip than wounding one arm.

After a somewhat painful battle I managed to get myself into a dress which Alice had insisted I should wear to the dinner. I was frustrated by the sleeves, trying to delicately put my right arm through without pain. I failed, but at least it covered most of the bandage. Not enough to stop Renée from interrogating me, perhaps, but at least it made it look less severe. Charlie looked vaguely ridiculous in the new suit he'd bought for the wedding. He boldly volunteered to pick Phil and Renée up and drive them to the Cullen's where the dinner would be.

Edward complimented me on the dress and was careful not to touch my arm, but he didn't stray more than a few inches away from me the entire evening. We greeted my parents and Phil and for the first time everyone was all together in one room for a significant amount of time. The house was done up so formally that I was amazed at the speed at which it was accomplished. The drapes and candles and fine silverware were certainly not in sight when I'd left the house earlier that day.

The Cullens were all exquisitely beautiful. Renée muttered to me that they all looked as if they'd stepped out of a magazine. I laughed and entertained her notion while inwardly I fumed. Would I ever fit in? Would anyone ever say that about me? I didn't think so, but I _did_ hope.

I don't know how they did it, but each of the Cullens managed to make their food magically disappear. The food itself was absolutely delicious, catered of course since the Cullens didn't actually _eat_, but it appeared as though Esme knew what humans liked.

Half way through the meal, amongst conversations of previous weddings, most notably Emmett and Rosalie's latest one, my stomach started to spin. It suddenly became very hard to breathe. Renée was actually joining in on the conversation. She seemed to have genuinely, absolutely, accepted the fact that tomorrow I would be married.

_Tomorrow_. I gulped. Edward, whose hand was linked in mine, laid his other hand on my arm and he leaned over to me.

"Bella?" He whispered. "Your heart's doing cartwheels again. What's wrong?"

I couldn't respond. I'd somehow managed to block out the conversation but my own thoughts were spinning around, making me nauseas. Edward clasped an iron grip around my arm, smiled charmingly, and excused us. He led me into the kitchen and leaned me against the counter.

He didn't say anything, for which I was grateful. I leaned over the sink, wondering if they had running water, and rested my head against the cool metal of its rim. A cold hand lay on my back and another stroked my hair.

"I'm keeping my end of the bargain," I muttered, somewhat angrily. I didn't mean to be angry, but I felt it anyway. Getting married would seal the deal for my old family and my new one, but it was still a leap of me. "You better keep yours."

"I promised you we'd try," Edward agreed quietly. "Is there anything else bothering you?"

I took a deep breath and stood upright, turning around and leaning against his cool body instead. His arms folded around me, encasing me in cold.

"We can't do it here," I whispered. "You have to take me away before you change me. You're breaking the treaty and I won't risk them coming after you."

Edward chuckled humorlessly. "They won't hurt me."

"But I'm not going to risk it. You have to take me somewhere. Alaska, Antarctica, wherever. Just like we had planned. And soon." I sighed. I had come to like Forks. I doubted I'd ever be able to come back. A thought made me draw in my breath sharply and I looked up at Edward. "They won't hurt the others, will they?"

Edward shook his head. "If we go away, they will never know for certain who changed you. But Bella, you have to be sure. I am _not_ going to do it if you're afraid."

I frowned at him. "Didn't I tell you never to doubt me? I meant it. About everything. Well, about these two things anyway. That I love you more than life and that I want to spend _both_ our lives together."

He sighed and nodded his head. "Are you better now? They're starting to gossip."

I smiled and nodded. He looped his arm around my waist and we walked back into the dining room. Carlisle was standing, a champagne glass in his hand. He gestured to us with a smile and I stopped in my tracks.

"To two of the most precious people I have ever had the pleasure to know. May you grow together," he said and my face burned with embarrassment. The other lifted their glasses and raised them to toast us.

Charlie chuckled. "I suppose I can let the underage drinking pass since you're all in the presence of your guardians." His face straightened and his eyes wavered. He smashed his lips together awkwardly and cleared his throat. "And as the father of the bride I suppose I should add my wishes."

He stood and awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to another. My forehead creased in sympathy. Poor Charlie had never been one for words. He and I enjoyed silence.

"Um, well the most important thing, I guess, is just to wish you both be safe and happy." He laughed once but his eyes still wavered. "That might be a challenge for you, Edward. Today's hiking trip proves that safe is a relative term when it comes to Bella."

Edward and all of his family smiled with secret knowledge. Yep, only I could willingly hang around with vampires and werewolves. Charlie didn't know the half of it. As he sat back in his seat I wondered if the conversation I'd had with him a few weeks earlier, about his hunch that he was about to lose me, had made him slightly paranoid. He hadn't liked the idea of me getting married, but his eyes seemed to betray some kind of suspicion that my absence from his life would be more than married life. I hoped his suspicions would be restricted to matrimonial bliss and college.

My stomach was still fluttering nervously, but I tried not to think about it. Edward seemed to sense my continued distress and conveniently turned the conversation towards menial, non-wedding related things. I squeezed his hand in gratitude.

"Now Edward," Charlie said at the door with a fatherly voice. "You'll take Bella straight home and leave right away. No hanging around. I'm sure you'll respect traditions." His tone sounded like he was trying to command but I doubted Edward would recognize that tone as much I did. But then maybe Charlie's thoughts would be explicit enough. Edward nodded in agreement and shook my father's hand with strange formality. He kissed Renée's cheek and waved to Phil as they all drove off in the patrol car. The moment the headlights were out of sight I slumped against Edward.

He laughed, scooped me up, and said. "One last night, Bella."

A shiver ran through me. "You _will_ stay, won't you?"

"Until you fall asleep," he promised. Alice will take it from there.

I cringed. "I won't sleep." It was probably true. I was too anxious to sleep. The night was just beginning and I couldn't even conceive trying to sleep yet.

Edward's head flickered to Carlisle and he nodded to some unspoken thought.

"What?" I asked suspiciously as Edward steered me out of the house and towards the Volvo.

"Carlisle just suggested something for your nerves, that's all."

I swallowed hard. "And his suggestion was?"

Edward smiled. "The same method you used the night before our first outing."

Ah. The cold medicine. I sighed. It certainly had knocked me out, but did I really want to sleep? I didn't want to be away from Edward, so that made my answer a no.

We sped down the highway and were in Charlie's driveway in no time at all. I looked up at the dark house reluctantly. This was the last time I would see it as Bella. The real, human, unmarried, Bella. Edward opened my door and held his hand out to me. I stretched my arm out carefully, not wanting to pull the stitches. Alice had not been happy to know I'd been injured the day before my doomsday, though of course she referred to it as my wedding day.

Edward waited outside of the bathroom for me after getting rid of the car. He raised his eyebrows when I came out. Wondering, no doubt, whether I'd taken the medicine. He narrowed his eyes. Clearly he didn't think I had. I sighed and walked back in. It's for my own good, I told myself as I took the medicine and let Edward carry me to my bed.

"Goodnight Isabella Swan," he whispered softly. The medicine was making my head sluggish already. "Tomorrow you'll be Isabella Swan Cullen." His face was jubilant and I smiled despite myself. His breathing was uneven and he had a silly look on his perfect face. I closed my eyes happily and he kissed me gently before starting to hum my lullaby.

Darkness crept slowly up and covered me in a cool blanket of Edward's scent. Less than twenty four hours. Oh.


	10. Chapter 10: The Aisle

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: This chapter has been the hardest for me to write so far. So many possibilities, it's been so hard to figure out what I liked best and which would be most realistic to SM's style. I hope you like it, please read and review.

The Aisle

Everything was hazy. The cold medicine had kept me asleep until morning and when I woke Alice was sitting on the bed beside me, a blissful smile on her pixie face. The door opened and Renée came in with a tray of food. They chattered happily to me about my "big day" but I just sat up in bed, slowly ate the cereal and tried not to think. My third finger felt unbelievably heavy today. The weight made my left hand clumsy.

They got me out of bed, dunked my hair under the water for a wash, and then dressed me in sweats and a bottom up shirt, treating my right arm as delicately as it felt. Charlie and Phil were watching TV as Alice and Renée led me in my dazed state down the stairs and into the black Mercedes Alice had borrowed from Carlisle. The black tint made the passing greenery dark and gloomy. Alice drove at a human pace, chatting excitedly with my mother while the world slowed on its axis for me.

The clouds sparkled with silver light when we pulled in front of the glorious house. Yellow ribbons were tied around the porch lentils and I could just make out the huge white tent behind the house. Esme and Rosalie were there, waiting. They all ushered me upstairs to Alice's huge room. It was all I could do to blink and breathe.

Hair first, then make up, then the dress. That was the agenda for the first half of the day. My mother and future family preened and complimented me, but I didn't hear them. Not even my fluttering stomach could keep my attention. I was concentrating on breathing too much. The beautiful faces around me were growing more concerned by my silence. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Nothing at all. I was certain I was dreaming. The face that was staring back at me in the mirror looked shocked and overwhelmed. Disbelieving.

I blinked as the room was suddenly emptied. I looked around and saw the strangest thing. A tall, pale, bronze haired, too perfect being, stood blindfolded in the door way. My face muscles finally moved and I grinned. I stood up and walked over to him, biting my lip and I threw my arms around his neck. I sighed against his cool body as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. His breath was uneven and his arms too tight around me. Something was wrong.

I couldn't bring myself to ask him what it was. I just clung to him and tried to memorize everything all over again. He seemed just as content to stay silent and caress my hair and run his hands gently over my face.

"You smell wonderful," he whispered into my ear. "Just like the first day we met."

I wasn't sure if he referred to my blood or my shampoo, which had not changed in the two years since we had met. Two years. It felt like only a day ago and also years past. So much had happened. Two years ago I could never have conceived of the notion that I would be getting married. To Edward, nonetheless.

He sighed. "Last night was the hardest for me yet. You have no idea how hard it was to stop myself from charging back to your room. I _hate_ not being with you."

There seemed to be some other kind of message to what he was saying, but I couldn't figure it out. So I sighed and muttered, "Same here. I guess it's a good thing we're doing this, then." It was the first time I openly admitted to him that I actually _wanted_ to get married. I had only ever mentioned it in conjunction with compromising or with proper closure for everyone else. Standing with him now, oblivious to everything, made me realize that marriage wasn't as awful as I'd feared. It was the boldest move I could make. It would prove to him and to the world, including myself, that he and I were going to be together forever. Through everything, no matter what happened.

"Oh." Was all I could add.

"I'm glad you agree," Edward whispered, his cool breath sending shivers down my spine.

He chuckled and a finger hooked under my chin and I stood on my tip toes to kiss him. It was the most passionate kiss yet. My heart stopped and somehow I managed to keep kissing him. When Edward pulled his head away from mine I drew a sharp breath, wondering if I was turning blue. The kiss seemed to have taken just as much out of him because Edward's marble chest was heaving under the white shirt he wore.

His hands reluctantly loosened around me and they slipped down my body until he could hold my hands. I reached up to kiss him once more and he gave me the crooked smile I loved so much. Then he put his forehead against mine and sighed heavily.

"Alice has been watching her thoughts, but Renée hasn't so I have to say now, you look. . . _absolutely_ beautiful." He chuckled and I smiled at his masked face. A cough sounded and I looked over his arm. Alice was standing there, arms crossed and foot tapping. Edward flashed a smile at me and then, painfully, left me.

"He's right, you look absolutely perfect," she said and shooed me back to the vanity. The others returned as well.

Several hours later I stared at my reflection, the shock and disbelief still present in the face staring back at me. I looked. . . perfect. Alice was right, and it was the only word that really described. Radiant, stunning, all those descriptions fell slightly short. The dress, the make up, the hair; they seemed to add only a little, but that couldn't have been right. I've never considered myself to be beautiful. Pretty, on occasion, but not really beautiful. But looking at the tall, slender woman in white in front of me I felt so much more confident. Everything was as it should be.

"You look so beautiful, Isabella," my dad's voice said and I shifted my eyes off of myself and to Charlie's strained face. He swallowed audibly and stepped forward. His eyes were beaming with pride.

"Thank you." My voice was as quiet as his. I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror once more. Today I was Edward's equal. I deserved him and he deserved me. I was actually _excited_ about getting married.

"I know he'll make you very happy," Charlie's voice cracked slightly with the cliché phrase and I gave him a hug.

"Yes, Dad. He really will." I was so confident now. So sure of myself and of Edward. Of our future together. Nothing would tear us apart.

We walked silently down the majestic stairs and towards the wide open doors leading out to the stretch of green. The soft sounds of Claire de Lune began to wash over me like soft waves. My face flushed and I felt moisture of happiness gather in my eyes. It was a good thing Alice knew me well enough to have insisted on waterproof mascara.

The pure white tent draped protectively over several rows of divided chairs. My father and I paused at one end of the aisle, Edward stood at the other. His face was more beautiful to me than ever. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes victorious. As we stared at each other, fascinated by one another's face, his split into a large grin and mine followed shortly after. Charlie and I walked slowly towards him. I did not hear people whisper, I did not see who was there. I could only see Edward. I could only see the reason for my existence.

I was breathing carefully, dedicating myself to the calm of the moment, when we reached him. Charlie moved my hand off of his arm and gave it to Edward. The moment our hands touched a jolt of lightening shot through me. I just kept thinking over and over, I do. I do. I irrevocably do.


	11. Chapter 11: Experience

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: There may be a factual error here pertaining to "Grandma Marie." I'm not sure. This is my favorite chapter so far. (If you'd like a soundtrack, you should listen to "Modern Myth" by 30 Seconds to Mars) Please read and review!

Experience

I came out of my daze only when the cat calls broke my kiss with Edward off in embarrassment. Everyone was standing, clapping and cheering. I didn't realize how many people had agreed to come. I was glad, though. Glad that they had all witnessed my oath. I leaned heavily on Edward as we walked down the aisle. I'd never felt so attached, so fastened to him before. I loved it. I was suddenly, entirely, complete.

And because I felt so complete, I wasn't as disturbed as I might have been when I saw Billy and Jacob Black standing away from crowd, on the outskirts of the lawn. Jacob's face was scrunched in agony and Billy's was cold. Edward saw where my eyes were resting and I felt his arm around my waist squeeze a little tighter. I grinned up at him, forgetting the enemy for the moment. Because, after all, if Jacob didn't want me to be with Edward forever then he _was_ my enemy. My once beloved enemy.

Under another impossibly pure white tent, Edward and I socialized as who we now were, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. The name swirled around in my mind and for the first time I actually loved and appreciated it. I was almost entirely a Cullen, and I was entirely Edward's. And he was mine. Forever. I stared into his perfect face and he stared into mine. Social skills were not our forte this day.

Congratulations came from everywhere. From Angela and Ben to the Deputy Sheriff, we were bombarded by regards. I noticed Charlie speaking with Billy, they seemed to be arguing. So while my curiosity was lingering on them and wondering where Jacob had got to, my body and soul was fascinated with Edward. The gold band around my finger, the first gift I allowed Edward to give me without being second hand, was constantly touching his matching ring.

Somehow I was managing to stay beautiful and graceful. I hoped it would last forever. The high heels were killers, but they were worth it because I didn't need to stand on my tip toes anymore to kiss the man of my life. . . . The _vampire_ of my life. As we sat in our chairs, at the center of attention, I couldn't keep my hands off of him, and he couldn't seem to keep his off of me. I leaned into him, he wrapped his arm around me, and played with the curls Alice had somehow managed to coax out of my hair.

"I love you, Bella Cullen," Edward whispered to me and I blushed furiously, biting my lip as I stared into his smoldering eyes. The electricity was still flying between us, and it proved a challenge to divide my attention between him and the guests. I looked over the crowd as they sat at their tables, chatting with one another and occasionally glancing at us. I did not regret letting Alice invite as many as she did. I did wonder why Edward had invited the Black; I knew he had because he hadn't seemed surprised, only protective, when he saw them present.

Renée was giving me an oddly satisfied look. The smile which was fixed on my face made her smile too and my heart loved that it was the smile I'd missed so much. Charlie and Carlisle both beamed, as though they were the proudest parents, though Carlisle in a different sense, of the world. Jasper seemed content to finally have nothing but good emotions around him, and Alice was playing the excited hostess wonderfully. Emmett was telling jokes boisterously and Rosalie gave me a genuine smile. After all, she had told me earlier, as long as Edward stopped wallowing she would be glad to have me around.

Everything was perfect.

Even the dance, first with Charlie as a farewell dance, and then with Edward was not horrible. Neither Charlie nor I moved very much, not wanting to push my luck with not having fallen yet. As soon as the first song was over, Edward had wrapped his arms around me and we were gliding. . . actually _gliding_. . . around the dance floor.

I didn't really enjoy receiving the gifts, but it was interesting to see what Alice had put on the registry. It was highly amusing. A blender here, a silverware set there. I couldn't stop laughing at the irony and hoped that, if anyone was judging, they'd think with was grateful laughter. Edward grinned and hugged me tighter with every especially _human_ gift. I didn't think he found it as amusing that I was so keen to laugh off my human life, but every moment that I wasn't looking directly at him, Edward's perfect, smiling face was imprinted in my mind. I blinked as that thought crossed my mind.

Imprinted. The word which pertained to werewolves suddenly seemed applicable to me too. That overwhelming sense of love and protection, it was what I felt with Edward. I would not be able to live without him. I sighed happily and leaned deeper into his cold chest.

Charlie's gift brought moisture to my eyes. It was a charm my Grandma Marie had left for me. I found it ironic that it was a charm and that it would rest perfectly on my wrist next to the other loves of my life. It was a small gold sun. As he attached it to my bracelet, I stared at my left hand and wrist. It was covered in souvenirs of love. The weight of what was about to happen to me hit.

I would see them die. All of them. Every person but one who mattered to me would wilt like flowers. The tears in my eyes turned from ones of overwhelmed emotion to ones of sadness. Charlie let my hand drop slowly and I swallowed to relieve my suddenly dry throat. Edward hooked a finger under my chin and observed my eyes. I smiled at him but his eyes reflected his thoughts. He didn't believe my smile, but he wasn't going to bring it up yet. I was grateful and rested my head against his shoulder as Esme and Carlisle stepped forward.

"You _really_ shouldn't have," I muttered to them. "You paid for all of this, we don't need anything more."

Rosalie and Emmett came forward to stand behind their "parents." Rosalie gave me a small smile which I tried to return.

"You might need this," she whispered so that only we could hear. Charlie and Renée didn't seem to have heard.

Edward took the outstretched envelope and handed it to me. His smile was hardened. He knew what it was. I opened it and found that I was facing my future.

Plane tickets. Just like my birthday the previous year, but without a specified destination. My throat caught. I held in my hands, literally, my ticket out of this life. Suddenly I found it very hard to breathe. Edward's grip around me relaxed slightly, noticing the dramatic change. I swallowed again and amongst deep breaths I hugged them.

"Thank you," I whispered to them. "For everything."

"Of course," Esme said as she hugged me back. There was no hesitation in this hug like there had been so long ago. Esme wasn't being careful. I appreciated it. I could tell now that she really wanted me to stay. Carlisle and Rosalie's hugs were the same, though Rosalie let go more quickly.

When I turned with a smile to Emmett he caught me up roughly in his huge arms and squeezed me so hard I had to tap his shoulder to remind him I had to breathe.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot, not yet," he winked at me and I grinned. It was so hard not to smile around him. "But hey, we got you something else too!"

He went to a nearby table and reached under the white drape and pulled out a box. I recognized it right away and blushed.

"You _shouldn't_ have," I muttered and he laughed. He handed the box to Edward and wrapped a huge arm around Rosalie.

"You know, I was working on the new car possibility," Edward muttered as he set the box aside.

Emmett shrugged like a huge bear. "Well, in the mean time she'll have awesome audio."

I muttered angrily under my breath and he just winked at me again. He'd probably already installed it, and I didn't really want to tear my fingers apart wrenching it out again. So I sighed and gave in, thanking them sincerely.

Renée and Phil gave us a check for what was a sizable amount in my opinion but that I knew was pennies to Edward. Still, he thanked them profusely, chatting with them about investment possibilities. Alice bounced up and hugged me, nearly knocking me over, before telling me about the fashion make over she had planned. I pretended to be surprised and excited. It was a complete lie of emotions, if I turned out to be as beautiful as I was hoping then I would be eager for the wardrobe.

When Edward's arms claimed me again the electricity overwhelmed me again and I forgot my realizations. The gray clouds were darkening and what was left of the sun was obscured behind the forest. I kissed first Renée and then Charlie goodbye. It was the most terrifying moment in my life.

As Charlie released me from the awkwardly intense hug, he cleared his throat and reached into his jacket. He pulled out a piece of paper and scowled down at it before handing it to me.

"I can understand what happened between you now," he said, a steely tone in his voice. "I didn't really want to give it to you, all things considered, but Billy begged me."

I only half-heard him. I was staring at the rough handwriting.

_Bella_ was all that was written on the envelope.

Edward and Charlie were talking and I looked back up again, my heart in my throat. Edward nodded and gave Charlie the wonderful smile which constantly stopped my heart.

Charlie gave me one last smile and then turned to leave, Renée and Phil following. I couldn't breathe. I looked back down at the letter in my hands.

"I don't think I want to read it," I whispered. Edward sighed and kissed my forehead as he held me.

The guests were gone, as was the day. The Cullens were now zipping around the lawn, cleaning and tidying at an impossible pace. We stood there, holding each other for so long that when I looked up with tears caked on my cheeks, there was no one.

I swallowed and looked around, sure that the Cullens would appear.

"They're gone."

"Where?" I was suddenly incredibly nervous.

Edward smiled at me and my heart fluttered, betraying my feelings. He picked me up easily and kissed me.

"Does it really matter?"

"No," I blushed so hard I was certain my face would never be pale again.

He carried me at a human pace into the house, and up the stairs, kissing me all the time. I marveled at his ability to not watch where he was going. I was dizzy when his lips released me, and more nervous than ever as he lay me gently on the huge gold bed. His breathing was as irregular as mine, his eyes wide and smoldering just as they had been all day whenever I met them.

"A hummingbird again," he murmured as he laid his head against my heart for a moment. He lifted his face to look into mine and my heart stopped again. His gold eyes were so full of. . . _love_. I ran my hands over his face and he took my hands to kiss my palms before kissing my lips.

"I love you," his whispered. His mouth was gentle against mine but there was a hidden edge to it. My awkward and idiotic feelings disappeared. We were in it together. Everything, and especially this. It was a learning experience for both of us.

The pace at which we explored each other, every contour and every inch, was wonderfully slow. He was careful, hesitating only for an instant. He was too beautiful, it was unbearable. Our breaths grew more ragged, our kisses more demanding. Tears of wonder flowed down my cheeks and he kissed them away.

Today was, without a doubt, the happiest, greatest day of my life. Marriage was proving to be _wonderful_.


	12. Chapter 12: Unexpected Change

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: This scene is more or less the reason why I started writing this (other than the fact that I can't wait until August 2nd!). I was rereading some things from Twilight and realized a flaw in my last chapter. Instead of correcting it, I decided to speed up the process.

Unexpected Change

I screamed and saw the agony in Edward's face. I writhed in pain. My best day turned instantly into a nightmare.

"Oh my God, Bella." His voice was so full of agony that my heart felt more pain for him than me.

I hadn't considered this. Apparently he hadn't either.

"No, Bella, no!" His voice was so angry, so abrasive, and full of tears.

The fire raced through my body. I forced my eyes open and tried not to scream again as I looked at him. The pain was too much, I yelled.

Edward's arms wrapped around me instantly, his cold skin not helping the fire in my blood. He grabbed the sheet and tucked me inside of it, his arms binding my thrashing.

"Carlisle!" As he roared I heard the door open. "I, I had _no idea_! Oh God, please help her!"

Another pair of icy hands were touching me, touching my face. One gently plied an eyelid open. I saw Carlisle's face, tormented, only for a moment before ramming my eye shut again and thrashing more.

"MAKE IT STOP!" I screamed, crying horribly now.

"Edward," Carlisle's voice was soft and apologetic. "There's nothing you can do, not now. There's no way to retract that much venom."

The fire burned me into blackness. I was vaguely aware of a furious growl and my burning body being crushed against a block of marble.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Please forgive me!" His voice was a whisper as I lost consciousness. "I love you."


	13. Chapter 13: Awakening

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: I hope this chapter clarifies things. It's kind of sick and twisted, as some have commented, but I think it's a viable possibility. Apart from the explanation, I really like this chapter and I hope you agree. Please let me know what you think by reading and reviewing!

Awakening

I was only aware of a few things as I drifted in and out of consciousness. I had screamed so much my throat burned almost as badly as the rest of me. Edward was beside me the entire time, and I was aware of my feelings towards him. Love, pity, anger, and frustration. I didn't want him to see this, it wasn't fair to him. He hadn't been ready. I wanted him far from me, I didn't want him to hurt with me. Yet I was glad, too, that it had happened so suddenly. I didn't have time to worry or to think about it. I just went from one point of amazing joy, knowing I was fully alive, to another point knowing I was truly dying.

I'd been moved, too. I had felt the wind, which could have been cold against my skin but was not. I did not see where we went, but I knew that we were going far away.

As I neared the surface of consciousness again there was only the slightest burning in my heart. My eyes fluttered open but were unable to stay. I closed them again and stretched my fingers slowly. They were so stiff. I tried opening my eyes again and noticed the bronze and marble statue sitting at the end of the bed I was on, his head in his hands.

My throat hurt to much to say anything yet so my eyes searched the room we were in instead. A cheap hotel room, the curtains and bedspread matched. The ceiling was horrible cottage cheese stucco. The only thing that appealed to me in the room was the fact that Edward was there with me.

I tried opening my mouth to speak, but I couldn't make a sound. So I moved my leg instead, touching him to let him know I was awake.

I'd never seen him jump like that. He stared at me with a stunned expression before it melted into one of loss and torment. He knelt beside the bed near me and put his head against the mattress, his hands taking one of mine. They weren't as cold as I remembered.

"I. Am. So. Sorry," he said between gritted teeth. I moved my hand out from under his and lifted his chin, giving him a smile. I swallowed carefully, soothing my throat, and nodded.

"I'm sorry too." My voice rasped but as soon as I had said the words Edward had me sitting up and cradled me. I leaned into him, closing my eyes. He smelled so, _wonderful_.

That's when it really hit me. I pushed away from him and looked towards the small bathroom. I gulped, my stomach fluttering. I carefully got out of bed, wondering distantly how I came to be wearing clothes, and walked slowly towards the mirror I knew I would find there. Edward was beside me, not quite touching me, but there anyway. I closed my eyes as I approached it and felt around with my hands until they were clutching the rim of the sink. My breath was uneven and I was terrified to look at myself.

A hand wrapped itself over mine and a jolt of electricity shot through me. Well, at least _that_ hasn't changed, I told myself and slowly opened my eyes.

If I could have fainted, I would have. If my heart could have stopped, it would have. But neither could happen. The face that stared back at me in shock was translucent and beautiful. It was the same face as I looked at on my wedding day. The thing which surprised me most was the fact that my eyes were not the evil red I had been dreading. They were black enough, but they weren't blood red. I reached a hand out to touch my face, unbelieving.

My skin felt only slightly cold but I knew it must really have been as frozen as ice. There was no real color to my cheeks, but my skin shimmered under the florescent light. I blinked back at myself.

"I am so sorry," Edward whispered again and I broke off from my narcissism to look at him. He was looking away and I felt a stab of rejection. With one hand I pulled his chin up so that I could look into his black eyes. They wavered as they looked into mine and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Don't be. Please," I asked and looked down at my left hand. The two gold rings were still there, wrapped around delicate white fingers. "I love you, Edward. I'm so very, very glad you kept both ends of the bargain." I took a deep breath. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't be able to do _this_."

I kissed him hard, my mouth searching his. His was reluctant at first but the barriers dropped and his lips became demanding. For once neither one of us had to hold back. I didn't have to worry about turning blue from lack of oxygen, he didn't have to worry about losing his control. We were finally able to get _everything_ we wanted.

His shirt proved to be no difficulty this time and I pressed my body against his bare chest. He paused before scooping me up in his arms are carrying me back to the bed. We did not break our kiss but out of habit I pulled away for a breath while his lips continued down to my throat. I pulled his face back to mine and an arm wrapped around my waist and secured me to him. This was not like the gentle experience of our wedding night, this was the suddenly eager lust revealing itself. We both reveled in the magic of me not being so breakable any more.

"How long did it last?" I asked him as we lay exhausted in each others arms. A hand twirled in my hair and my fingers ran up and down his smooth skin.

"Too long," he replied in a pained voice. "Five days. Carlisle said he'd never heard of such a long transformation. Five days that I thought I would lose you. I was debating ending your suffering, it was hurting you so much, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I'm too selfish."

I smiled up at him and ran my hand through his hair. "I'm glad you are." I kissed his lips then his throat and then laid my head on his chest. "I'm also glad it happened then."

"What? You're not. . . angry? I ruined your last human experience completely with my. . ." he struggled for words. "My stupid combination of vampire and man!"

I laughed at him. "You didn't ruin it. Not at all! It was. . . beautiful, everything I wanted it to be. Even the. . . pain, before the change I mean, was beautiful. I'm glad we were able to share it so completely."

I bit my lip, embarrassed. "I- I'm glad that I. . . well that you, you know. . . _enjoyed_ it."

He grinned and kissed me. "I never doubted I would. I hope you enjoyed it too." Then he sighed sadly. "I'm still sorry."

"Well you can stop at any time."

We dwelt there for a while in silence then my curiosity got the better of me.

"Why aren't my eyes red? And I don't really feel, _thirsty_. I feel like I'm running on an empty stomach, but I'm not hungry in any way."

"I don't know," Edward mused quietly. "I'll have to ask Carlisle. Your transformation is hardly typical."

I sighed.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

"You mean you still can't read my thoughts?"

"No." He sounded both content and sad.

"I was just wondering about things."

"Please, Bella, the suspense is intolerable," he muttered.

I lifted my head to look at him, if I could have blushed I would have. "I was just wondering if. . . well, if you still like me."

A streak of pain crossed his face and I was suddenly on my back, Edward's face centimeters from mine.

"Bella, you are my life. You know that. What would make you think otherwise?" He was frowning furiously.

"Well, I've changed. I mean, I don't blush, my heart doesn't beat. . . do I even smell the same now that my blood is gone? How do you like the new me?"

He chuckled and the corner of his mouth twitched up. He kissed me.

"You are the same Bella I fell in love with. And while you do smell different to me, you smell _better than ever_." He grinned at me and resumed kissing me, his hands exploring as I sighed. So many thoughts were rushing around my head.

"Where are we?"

"Alaska," he muttered between his actions.

Jacob's last words to me, and his gaunt face at the wedding, revolved around and around in my mind. "Did we leave in time? Before. . . well, before _they_ found out?"

Edward paused and looked into my eyes, a sort of apology in them. "Carlisle won't tell me. I _think_ we did, but I'm not sure. He tells me that, to be safe, I shouldn't go back." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella. If you want to go back, you have to go alone."

I let my head fall back onto the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. I would never leave Edward, even for a day, now that I _could_ help it. So I sent a single word out, wishing that Charlie and Jacob could hear it: _Goodbye_.

I shifted my gaze back to Edward who was watching me cautiously, his face wary. His face was more beautiful than ever, knowing it was mine. All mine, for ever. I closed my eyes and stretched my head forward to meet his lips.

"I'll never leave you, I promise," I whispered to him and sighed dreamily as we reverted back to our blissful newlywed state.


	14. Chapter 14: Caution

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: I appreciate all of the comments I've received, please let me know what you think! Please read and review!

Caution

Not being able to sleep was an interesting sensation. I could close my eyes but I couldn't sleep. So instead I just leaned my head against Edward's shoulder and enjoyed the moment. I wasn't sure how long it would last.

"Bella," Edward finally said.

"Hmm?" He smelled _so_ wonderful.

"Maybe we should find you something to eat," he put it delicately but I'd already flinched. "It's not so bad." His voice betrayed him, he thought it _was_ bad. "We can probably find some bears easily enough."

"Can we please not talk about this?" My empty stomach was churning. I sighed. It was probably the wisest thing. Just get it over with, not risk going crazy on some poor human. The thought made me shudder, so I took a deep breath and looked up at Edward's pristine face. "Alright," I mumbled.

He gave me an encouraging smile and tried to move from the bed. I, however, was able for the first time in my life. . . or new life anyway. . . to stop him. I teased a kiss from him before sighing dramatically and letting him go. His look mirrored my regret but he pulled on his clothes and tossed me some from a chair. I looked doubtfully at the outfit, obviously a "gift" from Alice.

My embarrassment overwhelmed me so much I was forced to wiggle into the clothes under the covers, Edward chuckling evilly and telling me I shouldn't hide. I ignored him as I resurfaced and looked in awe at my right arm.

"It's healed, but it looks so. . . human."

Edward walked over and sat beside me, holding my upper arm carefully in his hands. The pain was gone from the bite but it had the faintest pinkness about it.

"How can it still be red if I don't have any more blood?"

He frowned. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it was a werewolf." His tone was vicious. "One I'd like to kill if the chance ever comes." He said the second statement so low that his lips did not move and I barley heard it. But I _did_ hear it.

"Don't say that," I said and thrust my arm through the short sleeve before pulling the shirt down comfortably.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, that wasn't nice."

"No, it wasn't." I sighed and took his hands in mine, looking into his black eyes. "Can we just get this over with, please?"

It was extremely early in the morning, the darkness just beginning to transform to blue. I could still make out the yellow Porsche parked directly in front of the door. I shook my head.

"Alice must be furious."

Edward grinned and tossed me the keys which I caught without injury to myself. I reveled in the moment and then unlocked the car, wondering if he wanted me to drive or that he would. He was already walking gracefully away towards the main office with an illuminated "Vacancy" sign above it. I sighed and got into the passenger seat, leaning over to put the keys in the ignition.

Glancing around the area there were only two other cars in the parking lot and none on the main road behind. There was a gap between the main building and another and I unexpectedly got a taste of my new vision. Straight through the gap I could see dense forest, and maybe a hundred feet away a huge boar snuffling along the ground. I shuddered and closed my eyes.

Then I jumped and heard Edward's laugh. He closed the driver's door silently and wrapped one hand around my head and pulled me to his face. When he released me he frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, you know. I just suddenly have supervision," I tried to shrug it off but my voice trembled slightly. Edward's hand clasped mine and squeezed. It was the kind of squeeze that would once have broken my bones, but now was incredibly gentle.

"You're okay, Bella," he said. He hadn't started the car yet, which surprised me. I faced him smiled.

"I know, it's just obviously going to take a while for me to understand this all."

He snorted. "That's the understatement of a lifetime."

I grinned. "So where are we going?"

He revved the engine to life and flashed his perfect teeth at me. "Hunting."

I rolled my eyes. "I figured that. _Where_ are we hunting?"

With a crooked smile he shrugged. "It's a surprise." His face straightened and his jaw tightened. "But, just to be safe, it'll be far from humans."

"Good," I said adamantly. I didn't want to take any chances.

"The letter from Jacob is in the glove box," he said quietly. I stared at the black dashboard in front of me. It was also proving to be an interesting experience to feel emotion without the ability to make my heart race or slow, and not to blush or flush. One hand defied my mind and opened the globe box. There were two CD cases and, on top of them, a sealed white envelope.

Edward's hand was suddenly around a CD case, opened it, popped it into the player, and put the case back. I watched his hands which were not a blur like they had once been. The motions he made were slightly disjointed, my eyes hadn't adjusted to tracking yet, and make my skin crawl.

"I feel like a kitten," I muttered and he gave me a questioning look. "When they first open their eyes, they can only see shadows. It takes them days to be able to see like adult cats. That's exactly how I feel."

He laughed. The song which was playing in the background was completely unfamiliar to me, but as I looked at the case in the glove compartment I recognized it from Edward's wall. He must have had the car already equipped before the wedding.

With a resolved deep breath I took the letter out and ripped it open. I took another deep breath and held it as I unfolded the paper and read Jacob's scrawl.

_Bella,_

_So you're probably not_

_I know you must think I'm_

_Okay. Look, you know what I want to say. I love you, Bella, and I wish you wouldn't do this. But I see how much you love him and have a pretty good idea who you're going to side with. I hope you don't read this letter too late. Bella, if you're going to do this, do it as far away as possible. Go to Australia or something. Ha, that would be funny, you'd be. . . . Never mind that, anyway I just want to warn you that if you do this near Forks they're going to hunt him. I'll try and stop them, just because where he is you'll be too, but if the treaty is broken, I've got to do what a werewolf's got to do, you know? Just think about what you're doing._

_Love,_

_Jacob_

I folded the letter carefully and put it back in its envelope, sliding it under the CD cases. I leaned back against the leather seat and carefully let the air whoosh out of me.

Edward didn't say anything. I could see him watching me out of the corner of my eye, but I shifted my face away to watch the brightening scenery. We were driving through a valley on a narrow road at a velocity which would have scared me if I hadn't been able to watch the scenery pass slowly because of my new eyesight.

If I'd read the letter earlier it wouldn't have stopped me, of that I was sure. I would have passed it off as just another move in the game Jacob and Edward were playing, but now every word resonated seriously in my head. Carlisle had warned Edward the last they spoke about returning to Forks. Maybe the werewolves were not aware of the treaty being broken. . . .

But then again. . . .

"The treaty would be broken if you bit a human, right?" I asked Edward softly.

He paused before nodding.

"Then we're safe."

He frowned at me.

"You didn't bite me," I explained.

The crease in his brow deepened. "I'm not sure they would distinguish between methods," his voice was unsteady. "The simple fact that I did change you will probably be enough cause to attack."

I sighed. "So we can never go back?" I'd come to love the little rainy town. It had so many memories, mostly pleasant ones.

"We'll see, Bella." His hand reached out for mine. Suddenly he turned and the car veered off what little there was of the road. My instincts turned on and I gripped whatever I could find and rammed my eyes shut.

The car came to a halt and a cracking sound came from my right. I opened one eye and looked down. I bit my lip.

"Oops."

Edward laughed. "Don't worry about it."

Too late, I wanted to say but he was already outside and opening my door. He held out his hand and helped me out of the low seat.

We were at the edges of a meadow, a copse of trees looming ahead. A sense of dread filled me and fastened me in place.

"It's alright, Bella. Just think, it's almost exactly the same thing as you would normally eat." His tone was cautious, his eyes wary, reading my reactions.

I gave him a look I hoped explained everything I was feeling.

It seemed to work. He chuckled, took my hand in his and said, "Let's run together."

I gulped. That was just _begging_ for trouble.


	15. Chapter 15: Rust and Salt

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer alone.

NB: Hey all, sorry I haven't posted in... well, a long time. Who knew vacation was so time-consuming? Anyway, I'm sure you've all (or most of you, at least) read the 1st chapter of Breaking Dawn- that tripped me up for a while, debating about things. I appreciate your input. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please read and review.

Rust and Salt

For the first time in my life I was actually _enjoying_ physical activity. Edward held my hand as we ran through the dark forest, over logs and dodging rocks. It was thrilling, exhilarating.

At first I'd stumbled, completely confused. My center of gravity was completely thrown off. I hit a moss covered root and, through habit, threw my hands in front of me to catch myself. That did more damage than good. As I realized I was falling forward, I threw my arms backwards. Somehow I managed to stand upright again, my arms out as though I were roller skating.

I couldn't say anything. Edward just gave me his charming smile. Even as my mind rejoiced in seeing it, it cringed as well.

"A clumsy vampire? This just shouldn't be possible."

"It isn't," he said gently and I rolled my eyes.

"You saw that, didn't you? That was not exactly my finest moment."

"No," he said. "But you have to trust yourself."

I snorted rudely and then sighed. "Can we get on with this?"

He smiled and, taking my hand again, teased me into a jog. Our jog, which was frankly terrifying, turned into a run, and the next thing I knew the trees were a blur in my peripheral vision while the dark green trees loomed before me, perfectly in focus.

I could hear, from what seemed like miles away, the gentle ripple of a brook and as we continued to run it turned into a steady roar. A parting in the trees revealed that, on the horizon, there was a waterfall. I grinned. My feet had touched several more roots, but with Edward's hand still in mine I didn't falter. I was moving so fast I didn't even realize when my body compensated for each mistake. I didn't think that, even if it were possible, I would be sweating. This was too relaxing, too exhilarating.

The edge of the trees was fast approaching. Edward squeezed my hand and I realized that he wanted to jump. So we did. Palms together, we went sailing over a cliff, the roaring waterfall rushing alongside. Hitting the water was like hitting pavement from a storied building, but I didn't care. It felt so good!

We sank to the bottom, and I felt Edward's other hand wrap around me. Under the wet water, we kissed, and I rejoiced. I'd never felt so free! As we broke to the surface I sighed happily.

"This is amazing," I said and he smiled at me, angling to float on his back. His wet shirt clung to his chest, outlining its marble perfection.

We drifted silently, our hands entwined on the surface of the water. I contemplated my situation. We were swimming somewhere in the middle of Alaska. I was now married, and dead. I should be a blood-crazy newborn vampire, but I didn't feel like it. My eyes weren't red with thirst, and I couldn't really describe the feeling in my mouth and stomach as thirst or hunger, just vacant. I frowned. I didn't want to kill an animal. Running something over in the dark was one thing, intentionally hunting was not my style.

"How long do you think we can avoid people?" I asked over the roar of the waterfall. We were drifting towards the opposite end of the large pool, of which I was grateful as my ear were starting to hurt.

"Probably a few days, hikers don't usually come out this far. Why?" Edward asked, his body drifting closer to mine until our heads were extremely close.

"How long until I go crazy with hunger?" I asked softly.

"You're not going to go crazy," he said in a low, fierce voice. "We'll find a buck or a bear and get it out of the way."

A ball curled up in my chest and I moved my body until I was submerged except for my head. Edward followed my lead, his eyes curious as we gazed at each other. I took a deep breath. It wasn't as cleansing as it had been when I was alive, but it would do.

"Let's do it," I said and started a lame attempt for the low bank.

Edward's arm wrapped around me and I spluttered water as my lips submerged. With an unnatural ease he pulled me swiftly and quickly to the shore. I was not the world's greatest swimmer, even with my newly acquired vampire skills.

As I climbed my way out of the heavy water I felt a pang of remorse. Alice's first outfit to me was soaking wet. I hoped I hadn't ruined it. I sighed and Edward gave me a reassuring smile. He was so perfect, so willing to help. I may be closer to him in strength, but I was beginning to feel inadequate again.

The sound of a branch breaking in the shadows made me freeze from wringing out my hair. I couldn't help it but something inside of me wanted to cower. Something else wanted to race over to the shadows. I was torn in two, but Edward nodded to me and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"Now is your chance."

I blinked slowly and turned my head slightly to look at whatever was making a lot of ruckus in the trees. My eyes skipped over the trees and looked a few yards further, beyond what I would normally see. A small, young moose was pulling at the leaves of a branch. Though I knew nothing of moose, something told me this was a young bull. Not quite helpless, but not extremely dangerous either. I could smell it, a musty, woodsy, animal smell. Like a wet dog but with more green and earth smells. It wasn't exactly a revolting smell, but it wasn't quite roses either.

I looked back at Edward who was watching me carefully. He took a step forward and, reading my expressions and accurately guessing my thoughts, he moved. It was lightening fast but I was able to follow it. He moved so quickly that, even when the bull moose heard his feet, it was too late. Using the branch the bull had broken, Edward lifted it and. . . . I turned my head, unable to block out the sickening thump.

"Bella," Edward said in a normal tone, but I heard it. I opened my eyes and turned back. The moose was lying on the ground and Edward was kneeling next to it. Nervously, I walked forward. I couldn't take my eyes from the corpse. There was a gash behind its antlers.

The wind shifted and I froze. The smell of rust and salt overwhelmed me and I couldn't help it, I jumped to the nearest tree, blocking the wind. I landed in a crouch that was alien to me, scaring myself.

"Bella!" Edward's soft voice exclaimed and he was suddenly beside me. I didn't want him there, I felt terrible. My mouth was open so I could taste the cold, hard air rather than use my nose to smell. "Bella?" His voice seemed almost scared.

I opened my eyes and hoped I didn't look too pitiful breathing, unnecessarily, out of my mouth.

"I really, _really_ hate that smell," I said.

Edward leaned against the tree in his crouch, a frown breaking his perfect face.

"What am supposed to do?" I asked, wanting to cry but not feeling enough moisture in my eyes. "I can't even drink blood!" I groaned. I curled my arms around my knees and buried my head.

Edward's arms were around me instantly and I felt better, though minimally.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Stop being sorry. I _wanted_ this." I sighed and looked up again, trying to put on a brace face. "Maybe if I don't breathe. . . ."

He nodded. "We can try. If it doesn't work, well then we'll figure something out."

I took a deep breath, glad that the breeze had gone. The sun was beginning to shine between the clouds and I fought the urge to step into the sun and watch everything glitter.

We stood up and, trying not to breathe, I stepped out towards the dead moose. I was vampire. If I couldn't drink blood, what would I live on?


End file.
